I'm close to giving up.

dreamdaisy

I've had enough of so many things that I am close to giving up with the whole kit and caboodle. I've had enough of the meds, enough of the dullers, in fact generally enough of this whole arthritis malarkey. Everything else in life is OK but getting harder and harder thanks to the lack of truly effective meds (and I'm on the best I can get). Talk some sense into me, please. DD

jillyb1

To quote a well known expression : it will pass , DD . Write a list of good and bad in your life , the bad list may well be on several sheets of paper ; but as with my lists , top of the good things list is an amazing husband . That alone can give you the strength and love to face most of the cr@p that life throws at you ; as you've illustrated over the last few months ! Sending love and positive vibes . Jillyb

mig

You have been so strong for all of us on here we tend to forget what you are going through as well,we are lucky to have you.Special hugs (((()))) Mig

bubbadog

I'm so sorry DD that your having a bad time of it, you are so supportive of all of us when we have bad times. You really have had to deal with a lot **** over the last few months. Wouldn't it be worth going to see your G.P (or if you can have a phone consultation with your G.P) and explain how your feeling and if there are any other meds that you could try that would help you with pain and would mean you could cut out some of the over meds? If you have a Rhummy nurse could you speak to her if you have her phone number if you don't fancy getting in touch with your G.P? Or if not any of the how about calling the helpline? It would be better to speak to a professional if you feel that low at the moment, I don't know where to start in saying I'm so sorry you feel that low, you are normally so bright and funny and to read you feel so low is so sad. I hope you get to speak to someone who can help you though the dark tunnel and help you back to your normal fun self soon. I send you big (((((HUGS))))).

Numptydumpty

Right, so you've had enough. Yes, I can empathise and sympathise with that. Things are not getting better, in fact they're getting worse.
(Is this helping yet? no?) What is the alternative? You see, I don't think there is one.
The meds and dullers are not doing enough, but, they are no doubt doing something, and you would be a whole lot worse off without them!
I truly wish things weren't so hard for you. You of all people deserve a break. I wish this wasn't "your lot", but it is.
The only thing you can do, is carry on. It's horrible, but it's fact.
You have a lovely husband, a job you enjoy, and are very good at, (although I realise that is getting harder and harder) and you have us. we are always here for you, just as you are for us.
I'm sorry I don't have the words you need, but I do have a lot of admiration for you, and a smidgen of love.
((((()))))
Numpty

kentishlady

Hello DD. Am so sorry to hear you are feeling so low at the moment and know exactly how you feel. You've been through a very bad time recently and how you are feeling now is probably as a result of that. You help so many of us with your support, comments and advice and brighten up our days (well you do mine), and I know loads of the others feel the same.

It is so hard to try and cope when you are in constant pain, believe me I know as have really been suffering this week and, like you, sometimes I wonder if I can continue to put up with it all. However, there isn't much alternative really is there although sometimes I think it is inevitable that doubts creep into our minds that we can continue to carry on with everything when life isn't particularly easy.

I really hope that you will be feeling be feeling better soon and, in the meantime will be thinking of you and sending you lots of ((())) Beryl

ToastierShorti

Giving up what?
Pain all the time,
no energy 'ever',
depression,
limbs that don't do what you want them to
Oh, I could go on... (and I'm just talking about me!)

DD, you encouraged me by telling me that it took you all day to change the bedding, but the important thing was that you did it!

DD, you encouraged me by being there for me and with your kind words a few weeks ago when I first joined this forum (along with many others here)

Numpty Numpty is right, this is our lot... but what is the alternative, there isn't one. So...
you come and tell us and we lift you up until you feel better, and you will.
Because somehow we do, pick ourselves up and carry on, because we are fighters, and our bodies may be crooked, bent or broken, but never our spirit.

Big hugs (( ))

x x

LignumVitae

DD first off, a huuuuuuuge hug. I don't think you realise how amazingly well you do. Numpty has said it and Toastie has said it, Mig has said it and so has everybody else. You have given us all so much, you have taken so little so we are now all here to give you support.
We all get to the bottom of the spiral and the thought of picking ourselves up makes us guffaw with a cynical 'as if' but in the end, what choice is there? You are too bright , too strong and too damned amazing and inspirational not to do the picking up bit in the end. Just give yourself a break and some time out. Is not like the last few months have been easypeasy sail through life months. You and Mr DD seem to have barely had time to recover from one of life's troubles before the next has commenced. Most people would want to get off the ride of life after what you've had to deal with and that is without having the millstone of arthritis around their necks too. Until you are ready to pick up and while you are still in guffaw stages just let it be, let yourself feel it. It's normal and you deserve a break.
Take care, treat yourself and let it all out on here. We're ready to hear it.
Lots of love, LV xx

ichabod6

Come up here and sink some pints with me.

barbara12

Oh DD...my support is here...I am on my way to take you to ichabod6 for a few pints...then back to the den...thats if we can find it... :? ((((()))) xx thinking about you

dachshund

Hello DD
you are loved by so many of your friends on here.
Dont Quit
when things go wrong, as they sometimes will
when the road your trudging seems all uphill,
when the fundsare low,and the debts are high,
and you want to smile,but you have to sigh,
when care is preesing you down a bit.
rest if you must, but dont you quit,
life is queer with it's twists and turns,
as everyone of us sometimes learns,
and many a failure turns a bout,
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
dont give up though the pace seems slow,
you may succeed with a nother blow,
success is failure turned inside out,
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far;
so stick to the fight when your're hardest hit,
it's when things seem worse,
that you must not quit.
((((((((DD))))))))
joan xx

villier

Well firstly, do you think for one minute that any of us will 'allow' you to give up, what, with all the kindness and selfless support that you give to us all, we are here to support you in any way we can, yes, life 'sucks' at times and also has a great knack for kicking you in the teeth when you are least expecting it, but that's what life does, we are all here anytime for you, scream, shout, get it out your system and maybe have a wee word with your GP, will it do any harm, I don't think so, you will get there, there are too many people on here willing you through this,as you can see by the posts so far sending ((((()))))......tc........Marie xx

deedeeitsme

DD....I totally understand how you feel but you are far from a quitter, none of us with this disease are,we are fighters make no mistake about that and we fight this battle everyday. You have always been a great support to all on here and now our arms are extended and we will carry you through this rough patch. And as someone very wise said (can't remember who ) IT WILL PASS...but in the meantime be kind to yourself, don't be a martyr and remember we are all here for you.

(((((((Hugs))))))) Dee x

dibdab

Oh dear DD- sometimes life sucks!!!!!! :?
You've had so much to deal with lately no wonder you feel at the end of your tether. You are an incredible support and encouragement to every one on here, and you don't do giving up, but maybe just for a while it's time to step back and compromise, or ask for more help if you need it-maybe for a while the housework gets neglected, or you eat ready meals and take aways- it's the gentle art of compromise and maybe it will help you get through till the tunnel feels a little lighter.

Sending you gentle hugs {{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}.

Deb x

dreamdaisy

Thank you so much for your lovely, caring and supportive replies. Arthritis does catch me by surprise every now and again, both with what it does and when it does it, but so what? My experience of arthritis is unique to me - end of.

I passed a rubicon today (well, maybe not today but at some point in the past few months; today was the day I acknowledged it). I don't remember moving without pain. Actually, that's not quite true: my earlobes, eyebrows and eyelashes don't hurt - get in! (There is indeed an ever-thinning silver llining to my gathering clouds.)

Once again, thank you everyone - it does help so very much to know you are there. Simples. DD

daffy2

Dearest DD, I'm not going to try and talk sense into you - that would be teaching my granny to suck eggs!
Given all that's happened to you and MrDD recently I'm not surprised you've reached rock bottom - but that does mean you can't fall any further.
I think this may be partly the inevitable anti-climax thing that sets in after a period of adrenaline fuelled worry and activity and generally coping, and the poor weather really doesn't help the positivity quotient any.
You are so supportive of everyone here, but now it's time to take your own advice - be kind to yourself and accept that (despite appearances to the contrary sometimes!) you are human - not superhuman. Leave 'should', 'ought' and 'must' out of the vocabulary for a while.

lynnhb

Just read your post & want to send you a big hug & love. As my fridge magnet says: Sometimes I'm the statue, & sometimes I'm the pigeon.
I have to admit that most days I feel I am the pigeon!
I hope you get some relief soon. xxxx

wynnie

im sending you a wee huggle and hope you know everybody on here is there for you and each other,im not as bad as you are and i hope i never am ,but im heart sorry there is nothing that meds can do and or any of us ,i just hope that get comfort from the love we are all sending you ,and have some pain free time soon x

salamander

Hi DD, just caught up with your post. Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment but, hopefully, it will just be a phase. I think many of us feel like that sometimes and you just have to lie low, look after yourself (a few treats are in order) and weather it out. You have a supportive team at the hospital and maybe a chat to them might help as well. I hope you feel better soon.

dreamdaisy

Once again I send my thanks to you all. I've had a think or two overnight and have determined a plan of action.

I think it's time for more Xrays of my knees (I reckon the bone growths have altered their shape) and I will get an ultrasound scan of the lump on my left heel. I will go and see the GP about my tongue (yellow, crusty, bleeding in the mornings, constantly sore) and find out what can't be done about that ('cos I've been there and done that with the drops and ghastly 'toothpaste' gunk), I will keep up with the carpal tunnel scar rubbing and post-op exercises as my scars are still hurting, I'm going to save up for a new rollator as lumping my current one in and out of the car isn't helping matters, keep wearing my orthotics which hurt but then so does everything else and generally keep plodding on whilst waiting for my left hip to join my arthritic party.

As I said to someone yesterday, it's a case of mind over matter: I do mind but that doesn't matter. I wish you all well. DD

frogmella

Oh DD. I am not surprised you feel so low at the moment. You have had such a lot going on over the past few months. It sounds like you have made some positive decisions over night and maybe that will help you to start feeling better. Sometimes just that little bit of "control" helps when we feel so out of control. I can't do or say much to help but I just wanted you to know that I am here for you too. You have always been such a good support to me on here. I hope you get somewhere with the gp. ((()))

mig

Hope you managed to get some sleep with all that thinking that alone can be very draining.Hope you get some help from your gp.Sending hugs.(((())))Mig

barbara12

(((((())))) xx

maria09

Hi DD
Just read this topic
You are always here for us with your good advice kindness and compassion
It's now our turn to be here for you
I think we all go through those thoughts and feelings we are human not super human
It takes me all day to wash up in between resting with a hot water bottle it doesn't matter how long it takes me I know it will eventually get done
(((((Lots of gentle hugs sent to you))))))
Maria

kentishlady

Hello DD. Just thought I'd pop in and say 'hello'. Do hope you are feeling a little brighter today. If this wretched weather would improve we might all feel a little better.

Loved the poem that Joan posted. I had that on a tea towel which I hung in my kitchen many years ago when I was going through a very rough time (prior to OA). It certainly helped me and I hope it will help you too. Am intending to type it out and stick it up on my kitchen cupboard as I've been having a 'down' time lately.

Take care of yourself. Hope you and Mr DD can have a relaxing weekend. Remember we are all here for you to help you through this 'rocky' patch - we all have them at times and that's what this forum is for to enable us to help one another.

Lots of ((())) Beryl.

knuckleduster

Hello dreamdaisy

Don't you dare give up dreamdaisy. You are such an inspiration to the rest of us. Just rest through this bad patch and a better day will soon be here to greet you. And I'm sure once this rotten weather improves and Spring sets in then that too will help you to feel brighter.

Sending all my best wishes to you.

Janet xx