Can’t process my new life with RA

I thought I should write on here to see if others feel the same way. I was diagnosed with RA at 23 out of nowhere now I’m 24 and have found it very hard to cope with everything medication, pain the fact I’ve totally lost myself. I’ve just started biologic treatment and everything is making me overwhelmed. I have really bad anxiety and depression now I’m on edge everyday. I’m not sure how to adapt to myself now I feel like I’m always wishing I could go back to when I was okay.

Comments

  • Arthuritis
    Arthuritis Member Posts: 270

    @Becca22 Hiya! Just responded to your other post! You are not alone. We can’t let it get us down. Winston Churchill had just the right words, when in battle. When passing through hell, keep going, don’t stop!

    We are battling RA, and we are on a mission to do the best we can, and keep an eye out to avoid things that disagree with us, and what helps.

    Count as a blessing each hour without pain… hopefully there will be more.

  • Arthuritis
    Arthuritis Member Posts: 270

    @Becca22 Please don’t despair, whenever you are down, remind yourself that you are not alone, there’s all of us here in the RA community supporting each other when we are in pain or down.

  • Macdee73
    Macdee73 Member Posts: 20

    Hie @Becca22

    Firstly what you going through is quite normal as it happened to most of us shortly after getting diagnosed. The first couple of years are rough because you are experiencing problems that you never had. The meds and the pain seem to make you feel a lot less like yourself. What i did is i tried to gather as much info as i could of my condition as well as possible ways of dealing with them. On this platform is where you will get first hand info from people who have gone through the same. There's no 1 cure and you have to go througha number of them to get the one that best works for you.

    Try to feel better and don't compare yourself to what you were before diagnosis because it wont help but rather will keep you depressed which is bad for our conditions as it worsens the symptoms. Try to live in the now and take 1 day at a time eventually you will feel great.

    Wish you the best!

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 27,401
    edited 17. Jan 2022, 07:31

    Oh @Becca22

    Bless you. We all felt like this at first gosh yes show me one person who didn't.

    The thing is you almost have to grieve for the life you had before your diagnosis and the life you had planned ahead of you, before you can accept your new 'different' life.

    It does sound as though you have had a tough time if initial DMARDs haven't managed to control your RA. Once the disease is under better control that will be when you can start to look at what your life will be like.

    For me. I was in tears a lot of the time, too much pain and did a lot of 'why me-ing'. It just seemed so unfair and I know I was the most annoying person to spend time with as all I did was talk about it. I didn't make plans in case l couldn't manage it and became quite selfish I think, but once my meds combination was right I started to get back to being me again.

    The people here helped too so much and with their support I gradually climbed out of my 'wallow pit' and rejoined life. I modified things slightly and now my life is good. It isn't the same as it was, but it is pretty good.

    My advice? keep talking to people like us, be kind to yourself keep going and soon with any luck the biologic will do it's job and you will feel much more positive. You are still Becca don't let RA define you.

    Lots of ((()))

  • Becca22
    Becca22 Member Posts: 10

    Thank you for understanding, for months now I haven’t been doing very well because of being depressed. Can barely eat and drink and I notice I feel awful but I’m trying to get some therapy for these things. Thank you again. xx

  • Lisa_R
    Lisa_R Bots Posts: 6

    Hi Becca, sorry to hear about your problem. I would like to let you know that you are not alone here. We are all here as a team to support you and all of us are battling various problems in our life. Have you tried consulting a psychologist? If not, please do approach an expert mental health center for your treatment. Hope you will recover soon and be back to your older self.

  • Ellen
    Ellen Moderator Posts: 946
    edited 18. Jan 2022, 09:11

    @Becca22 apologies for hijacking your thread I just need to welcome @Lisa_R to the Online Community.

    Hello Lisa its lovely to meet you and to see that your first post is helping someone too.

    You don't say which form of Arthritis you have, but your experience with massage (in your other post) is really interesting I am going to attach a couple of links which almost certainly will interest you and might give Becca more information on the subject too:

    and

    I look forward to seeing your future posts.

    Best wishes

    Ellen.

  • dean68
    dean68 Member Posts: 24

    been diagnosed with seropositive rhumatoid arthritis 2 years ago i still can’t get to grips with it i’m getting worse i can feel it i don’t know how to come to terms and and control this pain that’s constantly there.?!!

  • I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time of it. Out of interest, have you been proscribed folic acid, and if so, how often? I only ask because when I started on methotrexate, I started having bad anxiety. I was taking one folic acid tablet a week (day before my injection).

    Turns out the anxiety was due to low folic acid. I now take it 6 days a week (just miss the day of the injection), and I feel so much better.

  • dean68
    dean68 Member Posts: 24

    thank you ☺️ i have to take folic 24hrs after my methotrexate to be honest i actually feel a bit of a lift in moods which kinda makes me find a bit of motivation but for some reason something isn’t working i used to get i call them flares 1 a week to 2 weeks i’d have a sore wrist or elbow foot knee quite manageable but starting a month ago became more regular gradually then wrist and knee together hurt like hell goes away 3 days later other wrist right foot swollen i couldn’t wear socks or trainer or slippers now it’s every day feels my whole body is swollen near enough i can’t use my arms fingers without serious pain i’m hobbling because of my feet and knees don’t seem to subside in pain and swelling but worst of all my wrists both together have become unbearable constantly in pain can’t sleep because slight movements hurt some nights i’m sitting up in bed crying my eyes out like a baby 1 because of the pain 2 because i don’t want it to be me i that’s selfish in a way but i can’t help it ..i lost my house my wife my well paid job and my 7 year old boy who’s my No1 reason i’m still here it got so bad and it was all due and because of my SRA life changing disease i’m sorry if this has put you on a down feeling but i’m hearing stay positive think happy thoughts i can’t see how when i’m in excruciating pain sobbing my heart out to myself either on the floor on sofa or 4am in the morning sitting up in bed and i’m 2 years in i’m just starting.! some on here hav had RA for years i’m maxing out on tramadol every day naproxen as well and the pain is busting though daily all my meds are taken as prescribed to the letter it’s not working my GP don’t seem want to know listen nothing else my rheumatologist i’m starting to think he’s not real my 3 months appointments have turned into ever 6 months now but never get a call back sorry to be on such a downhill slippery slope and passing it on but i can’t think positive about any of this not 1 bit not everyone is the same don’t panic please on my moaning hopefully and i pray your get on top and live a normal life and live with and manage with your condition me i’m not strong enough to defend a whole out bodily attack i’m passed my wits end feels like i’m a loser in everything life’s got i’m 53 yrs old and nothing can take my mind off my pain .. sorry 😢

  • Coral
    Coral Member Posts: 2

    My heart goes out to you, Dean I know how it feels when the pain overwhelms everything.

    You sound like you desperately need proper medical help for the pain and the depression and anxiety it is bringing. It is especially hard if you feel that your doctor's are not listening to you.

    I hope others more knowledgeable on this site can point a way forward.

  • dean68
    dean68 Member Posts: 24

    thank you Coral but yes the most frustrating part of this is my medical advice by the professionals is minimal basically get on with it my GP has no answers but listen with a lot of sorry to hear that etc everything i know 80% has come from people like you and everyone on hereand thankfully and WWW can be scary but also enlightening at times as well i hope i have not absolutely trashed any good positive thoughts yoh had it’s not my intention everyone is experiencing their own unique ways of coping with more positive successful outcomes than negative and it works try to keep smiling it works on the rare occasion i do i’m on top of the world at the time take care take it easy and find that one good freind that understands your suffering rather than just see it at times that can be jarring .! but most people are genuinely kind and supportive smother yourself in these people and talk talk and more talk shifts that big weight pulling you down fingers crossed for you and keep smiling.. thanks

  • YvonneH
    YvonneH Administrator Posts: 1,047

    @dean68

    I am going to reply to this on your other discussion 'Wit's End' which can be found here

    Yvonne

    https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/56391/wits-end

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