Supporting a friend through Arthitis.

Malavika

Hello everyone,

A close friend of mine is waiting on a diagnosis.It is mostly confirmed to be Inflammatory Arthritis. Confusion reigns because she is in her late teens. She finds it hard to do a lot of things like writing, lifting and sometimes even texting because of how hard her wrists make it for her. It's also emotionally a lot to deal with, since it can sometimes be hard to explain to others how hard it is when you suddenly have trouble with things you performed with ease before.

As a friend, how do I support and validate her and her experiences best without projecting my anxieties onto her?

Thank you!

Best,
M.

LouLouCeCe

hey @Malavika what a lovely friend you are! I think you’ll be helping with your presence & considerate attitude.

I was 18 when I was first diagnosed and relied heavily on denial & ‘I’m ok’ coping. If you can see she’s struggling, being around to help will help. Perhaps tell her your open to being asked, but that’ll you’ll let her ask. She could use speech assisted options where possible for texting & writing. iPhones have loads now. I also used Dragon Software on my laptop when doing my masters (which triggered a flare, the masters not the software).

Re not projecting your anxieties, make sure you have other support. Somewhere safe to take your worries.

There are so many good treatments available now. I was only saying the other day what a different deal I would get if being diagnosed now. I hope she get’s to knock her flare into remission and get her function back. But keep using any handy adaptations she finds.

Malavika

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/comment/722080#Comment_722080

Hey,

Thank you for the answer.It's illuminating. I'll try to do my best as a friend.

Have to wait on the official diagnosis to go ahead completely with all the treatment options I reckon; hopefully everything falls in place.
I would like to take this chance to ask a possibly foolish question, but asking nevertheless: So flares can go into remission, yes? Does it take a lot of time?

LouLouCeCe

hey @Malavika no foolish questions. We are all different but yes flares can remit. This is often after finding the right drugs, so time lines vary. It’s usually advised to stay on meds to stay in remission. I had 10 yrs of remission, had come off meds. I was managing with diet & lifestyle. Now just trying biologics which so far seem great, hopefully I’ll go back into remission.

frogmorton

What a great friend you are @Malavika

and @LouLouCeCe some excellent advice.

The only other thing I'd want to say is, don't minimise it. My husband was one for trying to ignore it for a good while because I 'looked fine'.

It will help when she is diagnosed officially I'm sure and has a label to giev to other people.

Feel free to keep asking

Toni xx