Cris (Skezier)

skezier

Just [popping in to say a huge and heartfelt thank you to you all for the messages, hugs and support.

Its so much appreciated.

Long way that.... not least cus I ended up on the wrong motorway..... :roll:

The 2 lucky employers were a good distraction and well I am so glad i took them...

Hey must have done something right with turning out cus I was told by more than 2 folks that I was nothing like the rest of the family.... I was open and had no pretence.....

Something eh?

Twas an odd kind of funeral but he would have liked it as it was all about his public persona and tv image.... he would have approved of that.....

It triggered all the feelings though... The rejection, fear, hurt, horror, loneliness, more horror the isolation, neglect, abuse, cruelty and hatred I felt as a child... reminded me of mother as well I guess cus it all was there.

driving home I started to sort through it and bin it..... well as with everything else about me its work in progress

The bones went i to hyperdrive on the M5. Never have the arms and shoulders hurt that much... the chest as well and the lumber well it was already up to no good cus idiot forgot both the crutch and the tablets.... fool eh?!

Right I shall go sleep for a week i think.

You all take care and so many thanks cus your kindness helped balance out the rest......

Leaving hugs trained to jump out weather you like it or not, tea cus I went well short yesterday, chew sticks for Maddie, Bruno, Harry and any other passing dog and a big sachet of gourmet for Izzy.

OH it was really good to see Toni and Beryl bless her told me how to get to the M5 by phone and poor Toni went out of her way I think to get me in the right direction to find it......even though the 2 employers had eaten her cream.....

Love to you all and a hope the day will be kind to you. (((((((((( )))))))))) Cris xxx

valval

cris do hope you are getting some rest.
you must remember when some one loves them self as much as your dad sounds like he did it leaves no love for any one else. it all his problem not yours parents do there best(well most of them) but they only have there own experiances to go by and does make you wonder what they went through.
you are a most amazing person and i feel so lucky to have met you even if we are about 500 miles apart, i feel i know you better than most of my neighbours so rest up and give sheep a cuddle for me val

frogmorton

VAL!!!

you hit the nail on the head!!!

His ego was so gig (narcissistic?) that he was here for others to adore and not the other way round. Normal parents ADORE their kids and l am certain Cris was an adorable little girl

Love

Toni xx

bertyboy

morning Cris i hope you have a rested and can now move forward knowing you have done the right thing , be proud of who you are i am so pleased to know you hugs a bundle xxx

suzygirl

Cris, well done on getting through yesterday. You rest up and concentrate on yourself now.

Toni, thanks for the update and I hope you are ok.

Izzy loved the gourmet sachet and now expects more, :roll: , she is also missing the sheep and wants to come play. She is sending hay and choccie bikkies

julie47

Morning cris

Just hoping you are ok and that you have managed to get plenty of rest.

Thinking of you
Love juliepf x

roses1

Hi Cris,

Hope you got a good sleep in! All over now so rest and enjoy the sun!

Bruno loved his chew stick thanx

Rose x

barbara12

Hi Cris
There you go, your extended family could see how lovely you have turned out.
Im so glad that things are being put back in boxes, now the bones and gastro need sorting...
You do deserve so much better
Take care and get some rest ...sending loads of love xxxx

valval

hi cris sending sleapy thoughts to help you drift off (in bed) hope you sleep well tonight catch you tomorrow val

bertyboy

morning Cris think its today you have an appointment just sending wishes it all goes well hugs a bundle xx

dachshund

Hi Cris.
i hope everything goes well today.how are you feeling after your long drive.
take care. joan xx

madwestie

Cris, I am glad it all went well for you and that you made it home safely.
Try and rest a bit you had a really long day.
Maddie said she was sorry she had fallen asleep by the time you got home but she did warm up the bed for you

sending you some nice ginger cake honey and some big hugs
Love Tracey and Maddie (who sends big kisses)

suncatcher

I have just caught up with all this im so sorry cris. what an absolutly awful time you are having. You are a wonderful person who helps so many people. you do not deserve any of the stuff which happened to you. I am saddened you are going through all this hurt. :sad: cyber hugs in plenty wish i lived nearer. Praying for your continuing strength. My thoughts are with you from joanne

skezier

Hi Val, Toni, Berty, Suzy, Julie, Rose, Barbara, Joan, Tracey, Joanne and all,

The gastro...... the waiting game.... he did say the Barrett's needs a close eye kept on it since undetermined isn't normal but I wont have that without a sedative for sure!

They don't like to use them....

I don't like having it

M<ore about this possible stricture and as well as the IBD I got a bit of IBS chucked in.. not so worried about that one. The IBD is the one that really hurts and does damage as well I guess.

Oh we did talk about the funding..... its hard but he said if there is a stricture he will try for some...... Hey now I want one

Waiting now for the capsule..... who knows when.

The bones... oh the bones.... they are not happy and I mus try these patches again cus the pregabs and the trams just are not enough.

Morphne has always made me sick and the patches, even though they are only 10kg ones ..... I have to take the anti-emetics and try againeh?

The swelling in the base of the skull and down the neck means I am not so good in the co-ordination front..... wobberly as hell and so like a drunk is worrying.. got the stamma again andthat means its swelling under the skull agan.

No paralisation though so better than last tie it was this inflamed.

Got trouble with the skin as well now....

Its like tissue paper and is coming off even with a towel..... never had this before.... maybe I morfing into a snake

Knocked the hand tonight... no sticking out thing but it still took a chiunck of skin off.....

Just wondered if anyone else has this trouble? Going to blame the mtx.. not the sun

Not going brown either.... get the tingling and feels like nettle rash but if its dropped one shade in colour I would be amazed......

I know mtx and sunlight are not good friends but I am outside a fair old whack and used to get very dark indeed.... I love the sun and well that was something I could have coped with but I haven;t become sensitive to it I am no longer catching it......

Sorry gone off on one there :roll:

The junk.... oh the junk..... Mother is now another opened wound..... its conected cus she told me she knew about my father but it (I quote) wasn'r serious.....

I really am work in progress but still glad I couldn't be recognised as one of the family...... YES!!!!! I am so glad

Buckets of love, hopes, hugs and tea with a special ((((( ))))) for you Joanne cus its a while since I seen you. Hope your doing ok and the chicks are coming on well?

Mine are almost big enough now to free range Mind I got a duck and a hen sitting...... more to come thwen butpease not too many cockerils....

You all take care and my eternal thanks for letting me ramble..... Cris xxx

stickywicket

skezier wrote:

I really am work in progress

In that case the finished article will be well worth waiting around for cos I think the 'work in progress' is pretty fantastic.

Meth & dry skin - yes. I now use Diprobath all the time but still dry. Maybe, as DD suggested, I should try asses milk. Got a spare **** we can milk?

chris7

Oh dear Cris :shock:

Just catching up and you not so many notches above if any at the moment? The skin is the least of your worries, people pay good money for them cosmetic peels!

Hope today is a better one and you have caught up on some sleep when you can. I leave some extra strong bone healer, anti inflam juice a dollop of cope and a few crates of gentle hugs. (((( ))))
love
Chris xx

ironic

Hi Cris,
Wow flower you are suffering on all fronts and all I can do is send you a bucket of hugs and healing wishes your way.
I hope your next appointment is a positive one and you can get a bit further with some of the list. I hope the camera one comes through soon and perhaps get some advice with the peeling skin. Oh and the funding well it should happen at least once in a lifetime, absolutely ridiculous how that authority works. Well ‘work’ might be stretching things a bit there.
Difficult for you with patches if you have had trouble in the past but fingers crossed this time it will be different for you.

Got the hammer, nails and twine for the box when you are ready.
Hugs as always,
Lv, I x

skezier

Hi Sticky, Chris and I,

Hope your all okish and the day is being kind to you?

Sticky the work in progress covers my life I think Will never be finished but the sheep shed is as near as and they are coming home soon by one means or anther so as well as dragons keep an eye out up there for the lodgers hell bent on scratching the sides off :roll:

This isn't dry as such... its just odd areas of sores now...... Going to blame the mtx but also know the cr** circulation effects the skin as much as anything else...... the tablets being no substitute for the drip it seems.

Hope yourself and mr sw have a decent week end flower. Tea courtesy of slurps (who did have you a sarnie but it might not have made it up there?.....) and get that harness on in case they scratch hard enough to make you fall..... ((((( ))))) and ta for the ones you left me xx

Chris its always good to see you. I must bin this horrible life shampoo...... I really am sick of it now

Think a few notches below covers it just now..... Made a decision though... not going to the ashes thing.... well not if there is any chance of getting out of it that is.....

Saw a whole end of isle display of your boxes looks like you lot have been busy as hell there? Hope its not come with too high a toll? Leaving tea and a hope ((((( ))))) xx

Hi I,

Its not good this skin thing and actually kinda hurts :roll: Will give it a couple of days and if it doesn't ease off will have to get it looked at cus well maybe there is some infection left over from something eh?!

Cattle have gone..... kinda miss them actually..... there is still a sid, a manky duck and a pig on offer though, only tho Sid and the drake being safe......

Hope the mtx is being kind to you? Keep forgetting to ask you but do think it a lot. Leaving you a bucket of hopes and Sid and friends on their way..... xx

Oh as well as a bucket of hugs I better leave some more chew sticks and sachets.... Suzy Izzy might find my lot have done a bit of quality control on em though....... xx

Sticky sorry.... no asses... got a Mule will she do?! You can milk her though..... Used to milk cows by the score but this Mule... well she wont like it

Just found a bit of hummer..... at last eh?! xx

dreamdaisy

I have read through and am bereft of words. All I can say is I send love and enough hugs to last a life time. I have re-started the cope-breeding programme too. DD

speedalong

Hi Cris, having to skim through the posts this weekend as S is moaning because bored, but hard to motivate ...

Thinking of you.

Speedy

skezier

Hi DD,

Both are much appreciated....really are cus I am so, I think overwhelmed covers it.... My childhood was spent trying to get one bit of liking even if not love from one of the parents...

Chased the rest of the time i knew her trying to get it from my mother....

father I gave up trying when, well you can guess when....

I got to cap this one though once and for all ...... Not always easy when there isn't one happy memory and you feel like shift... with slothing off skin...... :roll:

Oh the wallow pit.... my mother spent her life in hers and I refuse to get in mine

Will go and try and rehang a door..... for some reason Blossom thought it looked better at this angle..... maybe its time we gave Sticky a claxton.... that would scar them

The cope said hurry up with a second one Its got to be a clone type of him though.... when he is ok he is blue..... just now... he isn't quite that colour

Don' forget daisy cat will do all the fluffing needed as well ((((( ))))) xx

Hi Speedy,

Thanks my friend and so hope you and S are doing OK? A bit of saffron for you both and a ((((( ))))) cris xx

ironic

Hi Cris,
I am sorry that the increase in the tables hasn’t keep the circulation up to par. Do you think a mixture of the drip and tablets could be the answer? Not very nice if you are missing a layer or two of skin, good idea to have it looked at next week.

Oh dear i knew it was getting to that time with the cattle but at least you will be able to get around without doing the distracting dance.

It’s a bit of a lottery with mtx thanks for asking, i’m still not sure if I will make it to the full 20mg but never say never as they say. I’ve an appointment tomorrow with the OT and podiatrist so I might learn a few things eh?

I know you are in a bad place at the moment but I know you will find a way through it.
Oh and Sid and co are more than welcome as I have just got some nice fresh veggies from the garden.
Hugs as always,
Lv, I x

magenta

Hi Cris,

I can't keep up with you and all your ailments!! I'm sorry to hear about everything and wish there was something I could do for you. I would go to drs about your skin though.

Sending you lots of hugs(((((((()))))))),
Take care,
Eileen xx

skezier

Hi I,

Yep they were pushing the 30 month rule eh?! I don't actually miss the 2 with horns but panda and bestist boy.... hey least next time the sheep will be home and nothing is eaten here.....

they might get the occasional train ticket mind

Hope it goes well for you tomorrow flower..... I know little about the podiatrist cus mine have always just had surgery but hope they can help you.

the ot thing.... postcode lottery this way.... My gp referred me and they said they had never heard of me... fair enough thats why i was being referred .... kinda came to nothing but i am quietly buying things I need to make it all a bit easier and have upped the bed with 6" breeze blocks I have got some handles and once they are up it will be a bit easier (I keep falling cus of the co-ordination thing) and going to make a ramp for the door. Bit of marine ply, some struts and some bars across to stop it becoming too slippy....

Just need to get a good day to make it cus Gimpy needs a ramp as well as Hops. Funny I don't relize so do I?! :roll:

With the head injure though ot was incredible... got me walking better and talking properly as well so know they can be very helpful.

Just thought when they come home... her ladyship will like a ramp as well

I really hope you don't have to go any higher on the mtx and it will start to work for you properly.

Your right I think I am not in the best of places but I will get through it.... its what we have to do eh? Was talking to the sm again today.... again she was telling me my father loved me and I know he didn't. Bless her she don't know the half of it and I guess never needs to eh?!

I must email you something..... I will I promise. ((((( ))))) and in your pocket for the morrow.. as much for being nosey really hope it helps though cus it is good when they do. Love Cris xx

Hi Eileen,

its hard to keep up with for me as well.... think its time this useless body stopped its collection

i will ring the doc tomorrow cus some of this is actually a bit nasty and so sore....

A mate told me to try surgical spirit after a shower....

If you hate someone get them to put that on a sore open blistery type thing I think I knocked a hole in the outer edges of our universe I went up so high... hell it hurt..... but what an idiot for trying it

i thought which hazel hurt... its a breeze compared to surgical spirit....

leaving a ((((( ))))) and a hope you had a reasonable week end? love the idiot who used that xx

dreamdaisy

One bright-blue cope sprang into the world a little earlier - it's lying in the corner, panting, but growing in size and fluffiness as I watch - I will despatch it to you as soon as I think it's strong enough for the journey: never mind what it thinks.

I think you did the right thing in going to the funeral, it showed you are a far better human being than any of your direct family and it also absolutely confirmed he has gone. Of course memories will have been stirred but this time I hope that the lid, once it's down, can stay down.

I am glad to hear that you are adapting things around you to try to make life more comfortable. Good luck with the ramp building, I am sure you will come up with a cracking design and something totally unique! I hope you can get the sheep to yours sooner rather than later - they are not easy things to move, I guess. Could you tie them to your bumper and drive very slowly home? DD