Sad time for me

lindalegs · 10. Oct 2011, 07:32

This thread, possibly, should be on the CC Forum but as I use LWA the most I thought I would post it here.

I'm letting you know that I may not be around for a short while. Two weeks before my TKR Revision in July we discovered that our dear old Dad had cancer. His tumour was already large and grew from his ear to his throat and he was given radiotherapy to stop it erupting through his skin – for which the treatment was successful because it did shrink. Last Thursday was the follow-up appointment with his consultant and we had the devastating news that he has 3 weeks to live maximum as the cancer has spread so rapidly, so my sister, three brothers and I are spending as much time with him as we can. (The weekend before my middle brother moved Dad in to live with him as he'd had 'another' fall and could no longer care for himself.)

Dad doesn’t want to know how long he has so when we visit we have to pretend we don’t know and not even talk about it and we'll continue like this unless he starts asking us. The Macmillan Nurses are going this week and I’m hoping that they’ll be able to talk to him and allay some of his fears and also help with his medication.

My Dad is 89 and up to a month ago he was still doing his garden, riding his bike and going to the gym 3 times a week, plus cooking, baking etc, etc. I know he's lucky to have had a very full, active and healthy life but the trouble is all five of us tended to think our lovely Dad was almost invincible and to witness him now is very sad.

It is so hard to say goodbye to those we love.

Look after yourselves whilst I'm away.

Love,

traluvie · 10. Oct 2011, 07:38

Oh Linda.. :sad:

So sorry to hear of your sad news..
I don't know what to say luvie...
Wish i could wrap my arms around you and give you a big hug, unfortunately i can't so you will have to make do with a rather large cyber hug...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((X)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thinking of you..
Take care..xx

elainebadknee · 10. Oct 2011, 07:42

Linda

Just read your post and wanted to say how sorry I am for you and your family. I cant imagine what it is like going and seeing your dad and knowing he is only with you for a short time, must be heartbreaking...
Dont know what else to say but thinking of you and your family....

Elainex

lindalegs wrote:

This thread, possibly, should be on the CC Forum but as I use LWA the most I thought I would post it here.

I'm letting you know that I may not be around for a short while. Two weeks before my TKR Revision in July we discovered that our dear old Dad had cancer. His tumour was already large and grew from his ear to his throat and he was given radiotherapy to stop it erupting through his skin – for which the treatment was successful because it did shrink. Last Thursday was the follow-up appointment with his consultant and we had the devastating news that he has 3 weeks to live maximum as the cancer has spread so rapidly, so my sister, three brothers and I are spending as much time with him as we can. (The weekend before my middle brother moved Dad in to live with him as he'd had 'another' fall and could no longer care for himself.)

Dad doesn’t want to know how long he has so when we visit we have to pretend we don’t know and not even talk about it and we'll continue like this unless he starts asking us. The Macmillan Nurses are going this week and I’m hoping that they’ll be able to talk to him and allay some of his fears and also help with his medication.

My Dad is 89 and up to a month ago he was still doing his garden, riding his bike and going to the gym 3 times a week, plus cooking, baking etc, etc. I know he's lucky to have had a very full, active and healthy life but the trouble is all five of us tended to think our lovely Dad was almost invincible and to witness him now is very sad.

It is so hard to say goodbye to those we love.

Look after yourselves whilst I'm away.

Love,

stickywicket · 10. Oct 2011, 07:44

I'm so sorry, Legs. Your Dad sounds as if he has a wonderfully supportive family to his credit.

This is sudden and a shock but you will have the satisfaction of knowing you all gave him what he wanted, including the lack of information which will be hard for you all to sustain but worthwhile if that's how he wants it.

There is nothing I could say that will soften this blow but do remember we are here for the person, not just the disease, and ww will support you however we can if it will help.

daylily · 10. Oct 2011, 07:45

Lindalegs what devastating news.

So so sorry.

God bless you all at this difficult time.
xxxxx

margareth64 · 10. Oct 2011, 07:53

Linda
Im so very sorry to hear of your news.My heart goes out to you as I had the same news in 2007 my dad was 84 and fit and able to do everything for himself, over a year I watched him waste away. Unfortunately I am an only child,so didnt have much support. Make the most of this precious time with your dad and try and remember you wont lose him you will always have him in your heart and mind xoxox
Margaret

elnafinn · 10. Oct 2011, 08:04

Dearest Linda

We have already been in contact but I wanted to add to your thread to say again, how sorry I am that you are having to travel this immensely difficult road for the next few weeks. My thoughts are with you and we are here to support you if that would help a little.

As I have said to you before, I am only a couple of clicks away and so is the forum, so please write should you feel the need. Sometimes, writing it down can be therapeutic, it was for me when my mum was very, very unwell as I know you remember and I was immensely grateful for the forum at that time. I can never thank my friends here enough for helping to ease my pain and anguish during that time.

I am holding your hand,

Love
Elna x

constable · 10. Oct 2011, 08:06

Hi there

Yes a very sad time for you all. And my heart goes out to you all including your dad. Just get as much time with him as you all can. It will be hard knowing. I am sending you and yuor family big hugs of comfort and I shall be thinking of you all.

karen xx

bertyboy · 10. Oct 2011, 08:11

i am so very sorry to hear such sad news Linda my thoughts are with you and your loved ones , your dad sounds a lovely man , love and hugs and many tissues , xx

cloud9 · 10. Oct 2011, 08:13

I'm so sorry Linda. My thoughts and my prayers and all my best wishes are with you and yours at this sad time. xxx

Wonkylegs · 10. Oct 2011, 08:16

sending hugs Linda, (((((((())))))

because I can't think of anything to say.

(((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))
Wonky xxx

kathbee · 10. Oct 2011, 08:42

So very sorry to hear your sad news Linda.

Thinking of you.

Love Kath x

hileena111 · 10. Oct 2011, 08:51

Awww Legs
I'm sorry....such bad news. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
So hard for all of you
Sending (((((()))))

Love
Hileena

dreamdaisy · 10. Oct 2011, 09:01

((((((())))))) DD

nanasue · 10. Oct 2011, 09:06

Legs, I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, I can't really add to anything the others have said. Enjoy your time with him and think of all the happy time you had with him, he'll always be with you. Sending love and (((()))) to you and best wishes to your family at this difficult time. Don't forget we're always here.

Sue x

jean123 · 10. Oct 2011, 09:12

Wishing you courage at this heartbreaking time.

jean and the forum team

Star2001 · 10. Oct 2011, 09:16

I am thinking of you all Linda and sending my love.
Star

Ankyspond · 10. Oct 2011, 09:17

Linda,

A very good friend of mine has just been through the same thing her mum (64) diagnosed end of July and died beginning of September. All you can do is spend as much time together as possible, there is no way you can prepare for that its so hard and so bloody unfair.

Thinking of you and sending you bucket loads of hugs. xx

vonski · 10. Oct 2011, 09:18

Dearest Linda,
I was so sorry to read your post but happy that you felt able to share it with us. The best thing that can be done for your father now is to give him the meds that make him as comfy as possible. The Macmillan nurses are a good team to have near you. Having all his family there too will help him. My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time. Take this time to remember the happy times you spent together and talk about them too.
Love and cuddles
Vonski x

tkachev · 10. Oct 2011, 11:32

Linda I am deeply saddened by your news. Please take great care of him in these coming weeks. Both my parents died suddenly, without warning,and I was unable to say goodbye, something I deeply regret to this day.

Elizabeth xx

Poppyg1rl · 10. Oct 2011, 11:40

Linda, I'm so so sorry, spend as much time as you can with your Dad. You and your family will pull together and find strength and comfort with each other.
You are in my thoughts and prayers Xxx

barbara12 · 10. Oct 2011, 12:53

Oh my Love I am so very sorry, it really brought back memory's of my dad...and we did the same ...didnt tell him how long..and I was so glad I didnt.
Sending you all the courage you need...and dont forget we are al;ways here for you.((((((())))) xx

skezier · 10. Oct 2011, 13:20

oh Legs i am so sorry. leaving love and hugs to you and thinking of you and your family. cris xxx

woodbon · 10. Oct 2011, 13:44

It must be so difficult for you at the moment, I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but all I can do is send you my love and prayers. You're right not to give him the news until he is ready to hear it, if that happens. Its his way of dealing with it and your respecting his wishes, let that be a comfort to you.
Lots of love and a big hug, and take care of YOU too. Love Sue xxxxxx ((((())))))xxxxx

agslegs · 10. Oct 2011, 13:46

Dear Linda

I am so sorry to hear your news. Be brave and strong for each other. Make the most of these precious days. I lost my dad at the beginning of this year to cancer so I can imagine a little of what you are going through.

hugs x

tillytop · 10. Oct 2011, 13:46

I am so very sorry Linda and I am thinking of you all.

Love Tillyxxx

Sad time for me

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