Beating me

noeltone

Ive gone down with the arthur is beating me with his big stick and as to forming any plan for the future i might as well form an elephant. what began it was someone saying oh you are not as bad as that person well how do they know, i am actually well i may not be but it is not a competition we are what we are and how we are .im not working i am useless nevber will work again cant lift a can without pain
i know i am useless been told it all my life and i dont know how to beat this negativity cant even turn my head or move my right foot feet or pick up a pen today or hold a book without pain in my right hand pain and my toes feel as though they are spiked and joints inflammed and swollen and so tender and they say you are not that bad.
any tips on how to snap out of it would be mosty welcome my care for others my wit have all gone cant be bothered with others and for once bed is not an option as i am sick and tired of bed and sleep and for once i am not bothered about moaning and peeps thinking hes orf again i dont want to go back to my old ways of drinking no good with meds i am on would really make me ill or the drugs but feel close to doing it again i have been clean for nearly 2 years

nearlybionic

Hi noeltone
I am sorry you are having such a bad time of it. As you say, being ill isn`t a competition! Any way who the heck are they to judge!! :shock:
I hope you able to keep your resolve re the drink/drugs. It is good that you have realised your weakness is not where you want to go at this low point. 2 years is a brilliant achievement.
I am not sure what will help you personally, but I am the worlds worst for bottling things up in the `real` world, but have found it good to pour it out on here and to cyber friends. They don`t judge me or look at me like I am going mad!
The sensible person in me will say, talk to your Dr about how you are feeling, emotionally and physically. But I know sometimes that isn`t what you might want. Keep talking to us here.
I hope things start to improve for you soon x
NB

denpen

Hiya
I too am feeling very down at the moment because of the pain. BUT after I posted on here the other day it made me realise that people "people I have never met" actually care about my feelings and UNDERSTAND what I am going through and its the same for YOU as you already know everyone who reads your post wishes you well and hopes you wont feel this way for very long. You are NOT useless so stop even thinking that way and Please dont turn to the drink cos that wont help but will only make you feel worse. You can moan to us all here as much as you like it does help to talk (as the saying goes) I hope you will feel some relief from your pain very soon and dont forget there are people out here who do care about you.
Take care
Denise.x

lindalegs

Oh Chrisov I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

You might feel useless at the moment but you're not, it's just the pain and frustration getting you down. Drink wouldn't help anyway as it's a depressant and you're getting shovefuls of manure at the moment just with the arthritis and how you're feeling, so you don't need any more.

I don't know how you normally deal with your pain but all I can say is that think of something you really like doing and give it a go to try to take you mind off things.

I hope you feel better very soon.

Luv Legs

suncatcher

You will not see how far you have come but others see it. Write what positives you can think of they are there but you are in a black pit and if you put it on paper it does become more real. dont put any negatives. In this state you may think of lots. just positives then look at them when in this state again. I was mixed up about something and it did help me but we are not all the same. Only you know what will work for you and no one else only you can do this and you can! from joanne

elnafinn

Hi chrisov

Let me tell you now, you are not useless and you must not even think like that. Whoever was that person judging you? As you say, how do they know. They do not know and you should take no notice of people saying the first thing that comes into their head. They are probably feeling pretty miserable themselves. How can you be useless - you have had the will power to be off the drink and drugs for two years. Don't go back there, you have done brilliantly. We need you on here. You have loads of friends on the forum and we all understand. You know you are popular on here - we all have a fondness for you especially us lot that have been on here for a few years.

You have a great sense of humour, brilliant at quizes and writing too. These are but a few of your good qualities. If you need to go away for a few days then do so, but please do not be away too long as the forum is not quite the same without you. You will be really missed if you go quiet on us for to long. We do notice, you know.

Love
Elna x

skezier

Hi Christov,

I am sorry some inconsiderate person has sent you down this road, please don't take any notice of them as what do they know! You asked for some tips of how to snap out of it an I am going to say how I did as once I was so full of negativity and dark I was really horrible and withdrawn. I hope you won't laugh (or anyone for that matter) but .......I visualised scooping it out of my head with a giant ice cream scoop……… I then put the arthritis and a couple of other things in a hamster ball, and I did visualise it as this horrible yucky green, really ugly thing with horribly long clutchy fingers and it went in its ball! and though it can move about it can’t get out it took away it’s power as its no longer free and somehow, for me, it helped. I know it sounds like I am really stupid but it really did get the negativity out........ I then imagined a ball of light at my feet and I pulled it up me......... It was a long time ago and sometimes I have to do the light ball again. As sometimes life or people kick you down again.

I agree with the other comments here, you are a good person and you are all the things Elna has said about your good points and you know we can't all be wrong.
Take care, Cris x

mistywillow

elnafinn wrote:

Hi chrisov

Let me tell you now, you are not useless and you must not even think like that. Whoever was that person judging you? As you say, how do they know. They do not know and you should take no notice of people saying the first thing that comes into their head. They are probably feeling pretty miserable themselves. How can you be useless - you have had the will power to be off the drink and drugs for two years. Don't go back there, you have done brilliantly. We need you on here. You have loads of friends on the forum and we all understand. You know you are popular on here - we all have a fondness for you especially us lot that have been on here for a few years.

You have a great sense of humour, brilliant at quizes and writing too. These are but a few of your good qualities. If you need to go away for a few days then do so, but please do not be away too long as the forum is not quite the same without you. You will be really missed if you go quiet on us for to long. We do notice, you know.

Love
Elna x

Hi Christov
So very sorry that you feel so low and are in so much pain at the moment.
Probably the person who said that to you has never experienced anything like what you are going through and people do say the most stupid and insensitive sometimes so please dont take any notice of them.
It takes incredible strength of character to give up something that you have used as a crutch and it is amazing that with all your problems you have been so strong for 2 years. So please dont drift back to it after all your hard work to ditch it. You need your meds and they wont work properly with alcohol. Pain can make you feel down but hang on in there. I havent been long on the site so I dont know a huge amount about you, but from what I have seen you make a tremendous contribution to everyone here and you have a good sense of humour and your posts are interesting to read, so please dont think of yourself as useless. Try and just focus on all the positive aspects of your character and don't tell me you dont have any of course you do. We can all see them just knowing you on this site.
Hang on in there Christov. Keep posting because everyone here cares about you.
love Gillx 8)

josiec

Hi Christov,
Am so sorry you are having such a bad time at the moment. I'm afraid I can't do much other than echo what others have said, but you are not alone - there are lots of people here who understand and want to offer you as much support as they possibly can, so please keep talking to us.
Thinking of you,
Josie

harleyd14

noeltone wrote:

Ive gone down with the arthur is beating me with his big stick and as to forming any plan for the future i might as well form an elephant. what began it was someone saying oh you are not as bad as that person well how do they know, i am actually well i may not be but it is not a competition we are what we are and how we are .im not working i am useless nevber will work again cant lift a can without pain
i know i am useless been told it all my life and i dont know how to beat this negativity cant even turn my head or move my right foot feet or pick up a pen today or hold a book without pain in my right hand pain and my toes feel as though they are spiked and joints inflammed and swollen and so tender and they say you are not that bad.
any tips on how to snap out of it would be mosty welcome my care for others my wit have all gone cant be bothered with others and for once bed is not an option as i am sick and tired of bed and sleep and for once i am not bothered about moaning and peeps thinking hes orf again i dont want to go back to my old ways of drinking no good with meds i am on would really make me ill or the drugs but feel close to doing it again i have been clean for nearly 2 years

hi there Chrisov, who ever said that to you is just a small minded nobody with a small minded life, ignore them, they are not worth going backwards for. I can really see by the amount of replys you have that you are thought of very highly on this forum and i tell you, if we all met the person who said this to you....well i think we all know where i'm going with this one!! hang in there buddy, stay logged on and keep reading your posts coz we are all thinking of you and sending you our wishes, take care Chrisov, love Sally.x

badger

This person is not worth the time of day. I do hope you will feel more positive you have achieved so much. Dont beat your self up. you are worth more and deserve the best. from joanne

woodbon

I'm really sorry you feel so down. You've said some really positive things to me, so now just hold on, see how much people on this site care for you and wait for this to pass. I know its hard, you're not worthless. you'r kind and caring. The person that said different dosn''t know how things are for you. Hold tight you'll get through.
My love and thoughts Sue

jackie1955

Hey there, so, hows it goin? Pull up a chair, lets have a chat......

Feelin pretty crappy huh? I'm real sorry to hear that. Your mates on here are great though, aren't they? See, look how they 'talk' to you - offering you support and good advice - and you know WHY don't you? Cos they care about you.

Now, come on - your not useless! And on a better day you know your not. Your just on a real downer, so rant and rave about it as much as you want - and why the hell shouldn't you? Especially when you have to listen to some of the trivial stuff some folk moan about :roll:

As for the idiots who make stupid remarks, believe me theres lots of them around. Gee, they're pretty damn thoughtless - what in blue blazes do they know?
Smart ****'s :x

Anyways, look, your not stupid enough to go down the drink'n'drugs 'road to nowhere' again are you mate? Two years clean - wow thats a bl**dy great achievement. You should be so proud of yourself!!! Fantastic And it takes some guts to succeed. Not bad for someone whos 'useless' eh

I, no make that WE, are all behind you - sending you our positive vibes.

Right, chat over, hang on in there buddy, your gonna be okay.
Okay? I said OKAY? Right, okay

Catch yer later, Jackie x

joanlawson

Hello Chrisov

I'm so sorry to know how down you are feeling. As you said, it isn't a competition, but some people seem to feel that they've always got to outdo everyone else. Sometimes,people can be very hurtful, but try not to let them get to you. Just think they are ignorant, and pity them. You are worth so much more than them.

You are very well respected on this forum, and so many of us enjoy your writing. I admire you greatly, and along with other people, I wish I could find a way of making you feel better. Writing on here is probably a good thing for you, as we are all so understanding, and you have so many friends.

I know it sounds a cliche, but please take care of yourself, and I hope you will feel better soon.

Joan

frogmorton

Hi Chrisov
Oh no
You are NOT useless - never have been, never will be.
Whoever said that was the useless one (or ones even), they had the problem, not YOU!!! The problem is that if you hear that often enough you start to beleive it don't you.
A useless person would not have been able to kick the bottle, but you have, a useless person would not have had a daughter like yours, but you have and a uesless person would not have such a special Grandson, but you have. They are part of you. A testament to how UNusless you are.
On here you give as much, if not more than you take, so for now you moan away all you like and it can be out turn to pick YOU up!
Please try to post today - even though it hurts, just to let us know you're ok.
Thinking of you
Toni xx

ninakang

Noeltone,

How can you say you're useless when you come on here, give people advice, sympathise with them and make them laugh? Let's have no more of that talk!

We all think you're great on this website and you need to keep coming on here to talk to us to make yourself feel better.

It sounds to me like you're looking for a purpose, something to do. Why don't you try volunteering? You could try allsorts of stuff, see what tickles your fancy. The main thing is to concentrate on what you CAN do, not what you CAN'T.

You're so right to stay off the drink and drugs - well done. It would make you ill and it's only a very short term solution anyway. Could you maybe go out for a couple of hours with some friends?

Please come on and reply. I notice you haven't replied since posting last nigth and I hope you're OK.

Nx

kathbee

HI Chrisov

Hope you are feeling better today.

This flipping Arthur, the enemy of all of us.
Just dont let him beat you.

Do let us know how you are doing today
please,
the forum needs you.
Read all the posts from your mates, we think
you are great and we cant all be wrong.

Well done for these last 2 years of being strong.
You can do it, keep it up for your family and your many
friends.

Thinking of you
Kath

breane

Hi there, sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I can only echo what other members are saying but if you feel like a good moan then this is the place to come to as we will all listen and have sympathy with you.Pain can get us really down in the dumps and it is hard to get back to a more happier place. I hope you will soon have a good day.Take care. Breane.x

harleyd14

come on buddy, sign in and chat.... :P

pluggathome

Noeltone,

I have no pearls of wisdom to offer but I echo wholeheartedly what everyone else has said.

If this forum were a building you'd be one of the great big support beams as you give strength and support to so many on this forum. Useless? Pah!

Take care

Pluggxxx

jackie1955

Hey Chrisov, hows it going today? Maybe not so good still........?

We're all really concerned about you - so please try and post something, anything, so we know your hanging in there.

Even if you can only manage a 'Hi' - that'll do until your feeling better

Jackie x

elnafinn

Hi Chrisov

As you can see your thread is continually being bumped up, by your friends on here.

I know you feel the need to "go away" every now and again and I along with all your mates wait patiently for your return, hopefully very soon.

It is not the same on here without you.

Luv
Elna x

suncatcher

I hope you feel better today. please post something so we know you are ok. I miss your advice how you cheer me and others up. this person is not worth it. joanne

lindalegs

Ey-up Chrisov,

There's an empty seat next to me with your name on it - no one else is allowed to sit there, I'm just waiting for you. Come on Chrisov it's awfully draughty I need you to fill the space. :?

When you've sat down take a look around, there are alot of broad shoulders here (okay I know some of them hurt :roll: ) but chose which one you want and let it all out lad as many times as you like.

We're listening - all the time.

Luv Legs

joanlawson

Hi Chrisov

We are all thinking of you, and hoping things are a bit brighter for you today. Whenever I feel depressed, my husband says he feels inadequate to know how to make me feel better. We've known each other for 46 years, so he has had plenty of practice from time to time,and yet he still hasn't found an answer. That's how I feel now,wanting to help, but not quite knowing how.

I can only repeat what everyone else has said, and ask you to let us know how you are today, if you can find the strength to do it. So many people are concerned about you, so it must tell you how we value you. You touch our hearts in so many ways, so we just want you to know.

Joan

bertyboy

hi
please come back you are missed and cared about , come and have a rant , we can all listen and support xxxxxxxxxxxx