at the end of my tether! useless doc.

elnafinn

Dear Chris,

Don't you dare apologise for anything, cherub. I wondered/hoped you may have had a duvet afternoon and that was why you did not call in. Phew, you do not know how relieved and happy I am to have news of you. I can go and have my shower now.
You are not stupid, selfish or anything. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about either. You start looking after number one, my lovely. You are an important and special person to many.Please do not lose sight of that.

Night, night, Chris, I shall still be around a little after this shower that I keep threatening to go and take.

Lots of love and gentle hugs and again so relieved to hear from you.
Thank you.

Gentle hugs
Elna x

minky67

Hi Chris, Its lovely to see you posting again,im just sorry your feeling so down about everything.
Im sure that most of us have been were you are at sometime or another.
Please dont appoligies as you needed to get that out of your system.
were all here for you in what ever way you need us.
I cant add any more to the wonderful advice youve already been given. So sending some hugs ((((())))) & hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
luv debs

annie_mial

I'm relieved to see your second post, too...........so sorry that you are so far down at the moment.

You have the love and respect of so many on here, Chris........join us for a cuppa today!

Lotsa love and hugs to you ((((((((((((())))))))))))) all warm, 'cos I just got out of bed!

Annie

barbara12

Hi Chris
Good to see you got some sleep, has Ange says get some more,when you are over tired things seem that much worse.
You know where we are when you want to talk some more.
Lots of hugs and love ((((((((((())))))))))
Barbara xxx

dreamdaisy

Hello. I hope today is going better for you and that you have had some quality rest. We're still thinking of you. Dreamdaisy

chris7

Hi again everyone

Sorry too many to mention you all, but I have read all the messages and thank you for all the hugs good wishes and advice.

My doc surgery is now in a block with 5 other pratices so has it's own pharmacy and I had already picked up the prescription there when still in my bewildered and upset fog. Couldn't speak to ask what they were.
Thanks for letting me know. Just hope the Naproxen does a better job than Ibuprofen or else why change it if they are so similar? I assume the Omeprazole has to be taken first thing it doesn't say on the leaflet or box? I haven't had these stomach protectors before though she knows I don't eat well at the best of times.

The doc did have the report back from the Consultant on her screen but barely glanced at it and made no comment. The bit highlighted in red had me worried but I couldn't read it. I should have asked.
I will try and see one of the other docs at the practise when I can face it again. The doc I had known and trusted for 20 years left a few years ago and I have been shunted back and too ever since.

I will look into the pre payment thing thanks already on Mirtazapine the AD which she changed me to recently doesn't seem to be helping. This really is a minefield.

After the incident with the psychiatrist at casulty I know he tore them off a strip at the surgery and I suddenly got the Counselling I had been on a three month waiting list for. Though this was some years ago. I did find it helpful but never really got beyond the original non arther related issue which haunts me still. The Counsellors were all volunteers and when the second one I had come to trust also very regrettably left I couldn't face another 3 month wait to go through it all again with someone new and just tried to put it all back in the box!

Other recent problems on top of the shock at seeing the Consultant and getting his opinion appear to have reopened the box and I know I am not coping. My sis is hundreds of miles away and fighting her own demons. Though I have good company at work with the small number of people there, I honestly don't have any close friends here since the lifelong friends I thought I had, melted away over the haunting referred to above which they could not deal with. I don't think I am a bad person so why did they abandon me when I needn't them most?

Sorry I know I am rambling here but do feel so totally alone with all this and am grateful for all the messages here and on pm, and email. Though it is good advise I do fear so much that even taking a week of work with such an unsympathetic boss at the factory, I will just totally collapse and never be able to face going back. Now I feel bad because so many of you can't work at all I feel guilty for moaning. Why I am doing this?? This is not what I do?

I know I am now 50 but lost my mum when I was 19 and do so wish she was here now to give me a hug and make it all right. I hope some of this makes sense. I'm sorry to be so down at the moment when others are coping with so much worse.

Thank you again for listening and for all the help and support.
Chris

skezier

Hi Chris,

I am sorry its all coming at you from all sides just now. Another ((((( ))))) and a hope that you know your not actually alone cus this lot are here for you and always will be.

Oh flower friends they just turn into fair weather ones far too often but you really aren't alone. I know it doesn't seem like it but you will get things sorted out and the boxes, Chris they never work...... you can hammer the lids on, silage tape them and chain them but the first sign of upheavel and the lids fly off again. So with your consultants news its small wonder everything is coming back at you.

It will all settle and as you feel stronger you will be able to either repack the boxes or better still heave them into a skip. I honestly think a week off would be better for you but do understand the worry you the wont be able to face it as I do the same with the sales. We have something in common there ..... we need the money and that will get you back to work I think.

What ever you decide over work you must take it easy for a couple of days. Your exhausted as well as everything else and not sleeping well could have caught up with you. Promise me you will take it easy at least for the week end?

I hope you can find a doctor with in them that you feel you an trust again. Don't see the one you just seen and is there anyone who can go with you? If not I know pocket dwelling is something a lot of people here are so good. at! Just remember that cus your not alone.

I think its better to shelve everything till next week just now. I honestly think you need to just rest up, find your favorite book or music and relax and just let your body have some rest. I am sure exhaustion has come into this as well Chris...... I really do hope you can find that switch in your head, turn it off and disappear into the pages of a book or bit of music for a bit of time over the week end.

Another ((((( ))))) and keep rambling cus that's a very good way of working through stuff. I write reams don and then burn it..... I do tend to challenge the fates as its burns though, never sure I should

You take good care of yourself and I promise you you are not alone and also it will get easier. Love Cris xxx

dreamdaisy

If they were true friends they would still be with you: you're better off without them, tho currently that may not appear to be so.

Regarding that well-known double act, omep and nap, I take the omeprazole when I wake, then have a cuppa and breakfast (which I don't want but force myself to eat becasue these drugs are foul things), then do the nap and sulph. To date I have not had any stomach problems with doing this.

I have not found naproxen any use at all: it was presented to me as an anti-inflammatory (not a pain killer) and I might as well swallow a Smartie in its place, for all the good it does. I started Humira in July last year, and my CRP and ESR dropped virtually overnight to single digits. I saw my consultant in September and queried whether I should still be taking nap, as my markers were so low. She said no, so I stopped. At long last the oral thrush cleared - hurrah, food tasted right again! - but pain levels kept increasing. I saw a rheumatology nurse in April, mentioned the pain and she told me to start nap again, to stop any inflammation (figures still in single digits: huh, go figure). I did so, thrush back (yippee!) and pain levels are still obnoxious. Ho-hum.

The treatments on offer are an absolute mine-field. What works for one doesn't for another, it's finding the combination for you that is the most time-consuming and frustrating thing. Sometimes I think it's worse than the arthritis. I no longer believe that a med will work, that way I am pleasantly surprised when it does, not catapulted into depression when it doesn't.

I am thinking of you today, and I will tomorrow, and Monday, etc, just as I do for all the people I have met here. Trish has a special slot at dawn for her lovely description of the early morning, then the rest of you come along. That won't change. You know we're here, post, PM, we'll reply. I know we are not with you physically, but we are in every other way. DD

theresa4

( I'm sorry to be so down at the moment when others are coping with so much worse. )

You are an individual and so is you're pain and anguish so what you feel is what you feel, we all cope with our deal at different levels on different days so please dont apologise because you feel you dont have the right to feel the way you do. Some days the littlest thing can send me over the edge in tears then others I can move mountains :?
I do hope you can rest over the weekend then make a new appointment and get the help you need. You have had some great advice on here and alot of people who are here to listen so do use that and in time you can help us on our bad days

Love and Hugs(((())))
Theresa

dachshund

Hi Chris.
you are a kind helpfull person the doctor should have listened to you that is her job.
you were not in the wrong she was.
take care and carry on writting on here i missed you.
joan xx

elnafinn

[quoteThough it is good advise I do fear so much that even taking a week of work with such an unsympathetic boss at the factory, I will just totally collapse and never be able to face going back. Now I feel bad because so many of you can't work at all I feel guilty for moaning. Why I am doing this?? This is not what I do?
I'm sorry to be so down at the moment when others are coping with so much worse. Chris[/quote]

Dear Chris

Lovely rainy weather here, have you got that too? I have done some yeast baking so really don't care about the weather and instead of planned salads over this weekend, it will be roast dinner tonight Yum

I believe you are right, Chris, that it is perhaps the best to go into work. You are alone at home and often this is not good, when doing a lot/perhaps too much thinking and feeling fragile. Things can be blown out of all proportion and there is no one there to say otherwise/lift the mood. I know you do shift work so may well have to go in this weekend at some point, but when at home, do try to spoil yourself. If you like the cinema, why not go? I know it costs quite a bit, but you are worth it. Not much sticks in my mind, :roll: but this has, on hearing it on the radio some weeks ago. It was a prog on retirement and some people adjust to it much better and quicker than others, etc. Someone said "If in doubt, go out" and I feel if this is physically possible, it is extremely good advice. It does not matter where you go but a change of scenery and other things to see/watch/look at, take your mind off "yourself" helps immensely. I have done it myself.

Dear Chris, there is no need at all to feel guilty about talking of work. It is brill that you work and I am so pleased that you are able to do so. For the time being you must stop thinking of other people and put yourself first. When you post, you are talking about yourself and how you feel, there is no need to apologise. Other people are posting about themselves all the time, we are not apologising for doing that, why should we? Nor should/must you. Try not to measure other people and their problems with yourself. You talk on here as much as you wish, you need to do lots of talking, openly or privately, we will support you, my lovely.

Please keep in touch,

Lots of love and hugs
Elna x

angel1

You are dealing with things in the best way possible sweetie. Working through what you feel you can and can`t do at this present moment in time. That is good, and by letting all your friends here support you, you should feel less alone with it all.

However - and as you mentioned it - I feel that you would really benefit from Counselling. The very process of a safe environment, with complete confidentiality, and someone dedicated to listening to just you, is a very powerful one. BUT, you need continuity, and that means someone with experience. What you said about volunteers worried me a little. Some - not all - untrained Counsellors do more harm than good. Unfortunately, the BACP demand that Counsellors in training have to have 100 hours counselling experience, and this is how they do it, by volunteering to work pro bono. I will PM you with some other ideas.

I feel that you have made the right decision to carry on working if you can. The last thing you need, at present, is too much of your own company. Also, when you do start to feel a little stronger, maybe you could think of starting a college course, or a night class of some kind, to introduce you to other people. This is the sort of thing you could work through with a trusted Counsellor.

Know that you are in my thoughts always Chrissie..........Ange....HM.

speedalong

Hi Chris, we are all here for you. Don't apologise and don't feel guilty. Just keep reading and posting.

Do you like animals? Do you have any pets? Just asking because when I feel down I find stroking and cuddling the cat really helps. She always listens and never judges me.

((((hugs))))

Speedalong

frogmorton

Hi Chris

I am soooo soooo sorry I only just saw this.

I had been hoping you would feel able to post again soon, but not in these circumstances

wise girl going to the samaritans - you do knwo what to do dont you?

I lost a very good friedn a few years back and have never figured out why. All i can say is my problems were too much for her (or her new husband0 and the ones I have left are the best as are the ones one here - you included.

I am totally dismayed by your experience at the docs and so very very sad taht you of all peolpe should have been treated like this.

I have aprepay cert because i cannot afford the meds and it is worth it's weight in gold. I would never ne without it. At least I can have anything I need now without the added stress of how to pay for it.

Are you going to go back i wonder? Or try the meds you have been prescribed (omepo - 1st thing)? and then go back once you know?

I wish I lived nearer I would come with you because Chris it makes such a difference to how you are treated.

I am so sorry and give you lads and loads of huggs

Love

Toni xx

snowball

Hi Chris, I would have posted sooner but I didn't see your post. You have been given some good advice on here, sending you lost of ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) we are all here for you when ever you need us. Please keep posting, when you're ready.

Love Julie ((((xxxx))))

annie_mial

Chris, hope you are feeling more rested today and far less upset. You need to do what you feel is right for you..........if that is to continue working then so be it.

I wish I were closer and able to give you real support but, like all of us, I can only offer this (((((((((((())))))))))) but there are skip-fuls coming your way.

Annie
xx

dreamdaisy

Hello lovely girl. It's early Sunday morning, I'm doing my half-an-hour sit up after alendronic acid, this is a good place to while away that time! I hope you are feeling OK today - we're here if you need us. Dreamdaisy

chris7

Thank you all again for the continued support and hugs. Most welcome and a tad overwhelming if I am honest.

Just feel I should show my face and give a bit of an update such as it is though it ain't much. :?

DD bless you for the good morning yesterday, I did see it before going to work. Not sure quite how I got there but the shop is not too physically hard and was nice to see people who say thank you for your help and really mean it. I still love to see people buying books and the one day a week I can actually use my brain and feel usefull.

Cris oh those boxes eh! mine is back with a vengeance and firmly chained to my ankles at the moment, no wonder I can barely walk! but Ange as I knew she would, has given me some really good advise so maybe I can unpick it a link at a time if I try really hard even after all these years?!!. I do hope so. Bless you Ange.

Speedalong thanks for all your threads and posts I am following your progress as with all the other hip people and am grateful for them, the ups and downs all need to be heard but glad you are doing well there. Miss my lovely cats so much but sadly not in a good place to take on the responsibility or the expense just now. Left mine with the ex, which is another story and another box I won't open just now. Though as I write that I realise that particular box has I think successfully been dumped in the skip so maybe there is hope for me? Sorry I am rambling nonsense again.

Toni so sorry you having a really rough time but managing your chirpy posts as you always do nevertheless. Do hope you soon feel better. Has been nice to see Iris about this morning and hope all goes well for her op soon. If we could just find Trish things would hopefully feel a little more normal. Please get well soon Trish. ((( )))

I have absolutely no faith in these new meds and am still maxing out on the paracetomol, but will take the advise here and sort out the pre payment thing for prescriptions. I am trying to find the energy and courage to write a letter to the Senior partner Dr. at the practise and do the demanding you suggest Annie, but it so not in my nature to do that I confess I am putting it off at the moment. I will try and make sure that whatever I will see him when I next brave a visit. All seems far too hard to think about at the moment but I am trying.

At least no work today and only have tomorrow and Wednesday at the factory this week so will get there somehow, I hope. Thanks again everyone, so sorry I again haven't acknowledged you all but hope you are all enjoying the Bank Holiday if you can and that arther is behaving in as much as he ever does. I am still looking in when I can and am sorry to sound so flat here with this meaningless drivel. Thanks for the friendship and support I hope I can find ME again somewhere soon.

take care everyone.
Chris xx

skezier

Hi Chris,

You stop apologizing cus its ok and safe to post here what ever your going through. One of the things that makes it such a good forum.

The boxes..... hell I upgraded mine to a filing cabinet..... best I have ever managed but its sort of easier in drawers for me than box lids flying off here and when ever...... You know I use visualization for every thing ailing me...... :oops: :oops:

Its going to get better for you flower it really will do. I'm with you on not complaining... never once did at my old uselessess. You should try and see someone else though if you can this week, there are so many tablets that could help you and I think different combination might be useful for you.

I know you know we shall all be there with you in the waiting room and well a ((((( ))))) and hopes by the ton that you are feeling a bit better? If it helps I am giving you a bolt cutter and they cut through chain like butter.

You have so many people thinking of you as well as more ((( )))'s and love from all of us here. Cris xxxx

Hi to my 2 lads as well

ironic

Hi my dear Chris,
I’m so sorry that I am late with this, have been off line for a while.
First of all may I say that I have always thought that you have been a real asset to this forum. I am also sure that your Yorkshire grit has carried you through many a difficult time. Do not forget that!
Chris I know you have been struggling on the work front for a long time. Your Manager is soo lucky to have you. Do not forget that either.
Please do not let the stupid Dr you saw stop you from trying again. You will get through this. Take one step at a time.
Lots of Hugs, From Ix

tkachev

i missed all this Chis and i am really sorry! GPs are so stuck up sometimes! I am fortunate enough to have a lovely GP but dont deal with them often preffering to take my orders from Rheumatologist and Rheummy nurse. They write to my GP with all instuctions concerning medication.
I am on the stomach protector tabs as have had probs with acid reflex.
I ll look out for you on fb.

Elizabeth

valval

hi chris keep posting it the right thing to do we all need the forum it helps us cope so please never feel you have to apolagise for posting we want you to. it for all of us to use as and when we need it call in the cafe when ever you want .
the last mesage i had from trisher told me to watch over you to make sure no one made you feel you did not belong because you do you are one of us val

dreamdaisy

Chris7, you are an old hand at this posting malarkey on these forums, so here comes a little lecture.

DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT ever apologise for posting about how you feel. That's why people are here, to listen, not condemn, not to moan about you, just listening and then trying to help in whatever way they can, with whatever words they can. This is the best bit of the forums, the fact that one can let rip and nobody gets grumpy. We're all in very similar boats, and we understand how you feel. It is one hell of a thing to deal with on your own, and frankly my dear, I do not know how you manage to do so with such grace and equanimity. We are a valuable resource - use us!

I have had a lousy day today (humira tonight, hurrah) and as a selfish result I have not thought too much about anyone. Mea culpa. I am sorry and I promise to be more considerate tomorrow. Your guilty friend in adversity, Dreamdaisy.

Wonkylegs

HI Chris,
sorry not to have been in to see how you are (cos had visitors), but wanted you to know I've been thinking about you. Glad you are posting cos it really really does help to share things when you are feeling how you describe. I hope you can find someone that you feel you can trust to help you unpack some of the more troublesome boxes cos I know just how much that is helping me at the moment.

sending huge hugs for you and reminding you that I am here if you want a chat any time.

wonky xxxxx

frogmorton

Chris

Just checking if yo posted today and you have

it IS so good to see you even while you are so down When I see your name it lifts my spirits and others too i know.

At times like these you realise hwo invaluable this forum is dont you?

Keep posting my love and we will keep on being here for you and each other.

LOve and hugs Toni xx

Hope Trisher reappears soon too