Why Ra is what he is..

flossy47

Just read through this thread with tears running down my face. I've not laughed like that for ages. Thanks Tony.

tjt6768

you must be dafter than me resting all that. Lol
It's all true you know Flossy

flossy47

Not had much to laugh about this last year so it's done me some good. Won't go into detail on this thread as it's a long story. (not all arther related though)

tjt6768

glad I could be of some help.
I've missed laughing lately too..

Hope you're ok..

Better try sleep. Only had an hour last night..

tjt6768

Quick photo of him working as a private eye. As is plain to see.....
He's on a case!

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd427/TJT6768/2011-10-30140717-1.jpg

flossy47

That's an hour more than me. I don't sleep very well these days. Must try to see my GP but they are pretty useless at my surgery.

bubbadog

An Brill look back on Ra's early years there Tony! Made me laugh pictureing Ra making out with Blondie and sat in the back of a limo with Tom Jones sucking coal and sing 'my,my,my delila'!
So what missions has Ra been upto of late? I'm sure I saw him doing the stunts for Tom Cruise on the new Mission Impossible Ghost Protacol movie!
Bubba has been busy on trying out his new shorter claws!

tjt6768

Flossy, we had a rubbish surgery when we first moved to this area, have moved top another now and they've been excellent.. Nothing is too much trouble for them, very caring. Are there no others you could change to?


Amanda, Ra has been a very busy boy of late.
He was undercover at the Royal Wedding as the well shaped padding in Pippa's booty :shock:
He's been back and forth to North Korea a lot too, was a pole bearer at some strange blokes funeral.. Also was in charge of organizing mass hysteria and crying.
he had to perform an angioplasti on some crazy old Greek bloke named Philip. Apparently Ra and 'Phil' are old mates anyway. They met on the original 18-20's fun in the sun holiday back in 1920, both had to use false ID's as they were over age. They were in Mikonos.. It's where Ra introduced Phil to am ex flame of his named Lizzy... She was a really skinny bird, later on inspired a rock band from Ireland named Thin Lizzy. True story.
He'll be very busy this yr too, it's Lizzy's golden jubilee. Also he's organizing some big games tournament again due to his links to Greece.. Apparently he once won gold medals in every event,, including all the wimmin's... :eek:
I don't believe he's competing this year though.. He was banned for life due to being too good. Hercules put in am official complaint, he was a sore loser you know..

joanlawson

WOW, Tony, it's good to see that Ra has been as busy as usual, and it's great to hear about all his latest adventures.

Despite what you said about him not competing in the Olympic games this year, he's been seen in training for the Hula Hoop, a new addition to the games introduced by Ra himself. He's already broken all world records, as can be seen in this secret video of him, taken by Tommy Tucker, that well-known paparazzi cat.


The tongue action is Ra's secret technique for keeping the hoop going for hours, so I believe

tjt6768

thank you Joan.. That's how he keeps such slim hips, lol..

Some more of his creations:

Ditches, Howard Stern, pickled fish, queries, Ghandi, polyps, Adolf Hitlers chrome plated bath tub, victory, quakes, barometers, boil lancing, false teeth, September, carpets, fine dining, yule logs, undertakings, retention, tarquin the otter, wigwams, bog off's, lettuce, Gerard Butler, fallow dear, icicles, petrol bombs, Nine, footsies, hornbill, wrecking balls and many more things..

Colin1

I just love it where els could you be entertained like this
LMAO
Colin

tjt6768

Cheers Colin.
He is a rather busy boy...

He was once on 'Walkabout' with his friend the bush tucker man when they came upon a hitherto unknown tribe of elephant people.. No living human being had ever set eyes on them before.. The two friends spent the next year living among the tribe, getting to know them and their habits.. The chief 'bullawullachipshop' had a daughter called shabatackle.. She as expected fell deeply in love with Ra.. The chief wanted them to marry but Ra would have nine of it.. He was and remains to be a batchelor extraordinaire...
Things started to get awkward, there was only one solution.. To wipe out the whole tribe..
So in the early hours of the morning Ra and his pal went out and collected all the mice they could find... They took them back to the tribe and scared them all to death with the mice.. They still laugh about out to this day...
True story.
:eek: :???:

tjt6768

back in the days of Cleopatra Ra was of course revered as the God that we all know that he is. What they didn't realise back then was that he could time travel so as a practical joke he would often appear to the Egyptians holding an mp3 player, he'd blast out some Chesney Hawkes and they would believe it was the end of the world.. Not surprising really, I thought the same thing the first time I heard that drivvel on top of the pops..
What I didn't know till earlier today when Ra told me was that he'd actually made Hawkes from some left over turkey giblets, a defective mannaquin, some straw and recordings of the bull frog mating calls.. Lol
Boy did I laugh..

Another time he turned up at King Tut's birthday party dressed as Adam Ant, that really freaked em out.. Priceless..

True stories

tjt6768

One of Ra's followers, Charlie... Mesmerized by the Great White Dope...

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd427/TJT6768/Lightbox_1326394937949.jpg

joanlawson

tjt6768 wrote:

Another time he turned up at King Tut's birthday party dressed as Adam Ant, that really freaked em out.. Priceless

He taught all the other Egyptian cats at the party a few moves, as you can see.

tjt6768

thank you Joan. It was while he was dating Susannah Hoff.from the Bangles that she wrote walk like an Egyptian.. He had to step in and help as she wanted it to be squawk like a midget gem but that made no sense whatsoever...
True story of course

tjt6768

a long time ago when Ra was working as a transexual helicopter pilot in Vietnam he caught a glimpse of his old friend Oliver Reed stuck in some quick sand.. They'd known each other since being in the boys brigade together in Barnsley in the forties..
He would have to rescue his old pal from the quagmire without letting himself be recognized in then heels and that boob tube... I've no idea what happened. He won't tell me.. :???:

tjt6768

managed to catch this photo of Ra just as he hit his 'thumb' with a hammer. He's been making a tree-house for his friend Billy Bob Thornton..

http://i1219.photobucket.com/albums/dd427/TJT6768/2011-06-20171018-1-1.jpg

tkachev

So funny........

E

bubbadog

Ra & Bubba have been asked to go on a joint mission to see if they can make any sense of Charlie Sheen brain, they have been warned it could send them mad and they might want to throw him out the top floor of the appartment building he's staying in, that's why they are both needed to help the other cat stay calm! It's a tuff mission and they may not beable to do it!

tjt6768

I've had an update from Ra. The mission to inspect the inner workings of Charlie Sheen's brain has turned up some unexpected results.. Living within Charlie's skull was a tribe of miniature aliens.. Apparently they had been there since Charlie had worked on the Hot Shot films way back when... They had entered through his nasal passage in a dodgy batch of Charlie's Charlie :shock:
Apparently they were rather settled, not shy at all and more than happy to conduct an interview with Ra and Bubba.
Their leader Lguhhcbjgdd (roughly translated) Ian was quite jolly and he along with his tribe of approximately 93 were very fond of their host.. They originated from the planet microscope, had hitched a lift on a pebble sized meteor many moons ago and had been living in a coke can on the river banks in Vietnam living on a diet of spam and gherkins. Now though, things were getting lean, they had almost devoured Charlie's grey matter, in fact they were even eating his white encrusted snot on occasions...
Ian told Ra some interesting tales of debauchery and lust but made him sign a legal document so as not to enlighten the world to their existence.. Which of course everyone reading this will now have to sign. Copies will be handed round by Ra himself, so please welcome him when he calls but NEVER EVER look him directly in the eyes, never feed him after dark and don't get him wet..

tjt6768

He once was working with Leonard Nimoy on a Start Trek shoot as Leonard's eyebrows.. When they got into a huge argument about Kirk bring fat. Leonard was secretly in love with the chubby captain and would hear none of it.. A rather short lived fight broke out after Leonard attempted that silly move on Ra's shoulder.. Ra had been trained by the Vulcan high priests to withstand such things and just laughed at Leonard then bopped him on the nose with a right hook.
They laugh about it now, as well add laughing at the chubby captain Leonard once had a crush on.
He's now dating Roy Chubby Brown, ironic eh?
They share a flat above the chip shop just around the corner from here. They can often be seen sharing a bag of scraps from the chippy and canoodling in the bus shelter of an evening.
Who would have thought it eh? They now run an interior design business with a hope of giving then two scottish fellas from tv a run for their money..

True story

tjt6768

Ra used to work as a personal trainer to the stars,a few yrs ago a skinny young chap named Lou Farigno came to him.. He wanted to be big and strong just like his hero Stan Laurel. You see what most people don't know is Stan had an alter ego StanMan.. He would fight crime of an evening, in his bowler hat and some bright yellow spandex.. Stan had been into body building for yrs but had never managed to get the physique he wanted until he met Ra of course. The top dogs at the film studios were not impressed at all.. Stan was known for being skinny.
Anyway, Ra did what he asked and before you knew it Stan was rather buff indeed. Ra had to actually invent a pocket sized vacuum that Stan would attach to his body whilst filming, the device made him look like his old gaunt self again..

True story

Ra also invented....

The spleen, adequacy, cherubs, nails, ghastly apparitions, dilemmas, pole dancing
Twine, corsairs, flight, Dr Zhivago, microphones, those silly stork things that sit on your glass and pretend to drink (never understood why he gave them top hats, will have to ask him) cream puffs, blind dates, edinburgh, salads, witchcraft, condom dispensers, pin cushions, the afro, rabbits, vixens, twin tubs, HRT (thank you dear friend, lol) and much much more

tjt6768

Ra was good friends with a sardine named Terry, he lived in a tin with all his mates, it was rather cramped. Dolphin friendly I here you ask...
Yes actually, Terry was good friends with Dolph Ian Lundgren. He went on to be a movie star you know.
Dolph had a friend called Doc Leaf, who, as his name suggests was a bitter gun slinger from the deep south. Taunton to be precise. He used to scour the pots with his brillo pad Glen. They once met an amazing lady by the name of Cris, she rescued animals from the four corners of the room. An amazing lady with a heart of gold.. In fact she traded it in recently as gold prices have gone through the roof. She used the money to fix the hole in the roof :?

True story

tjt6768

Well, I finally nodded off about five to five, was woken at ten past.. I found a rather large lump on mi chest, I was crushed.. Literally.. The lump was white and furry and purred a lot..
The fat bugger just would not let me sleep, I believe he was in cahoots with arthur last night, them and the pouring rain :roll:

Oh well

He'd woken me up for the usual stroking of the belly and tickling of the chin. I wish he wouldn't, he knows I don't like it, and im not even remotely ticklish.. Don't know why he insists, lol


He once dated a crazy witch named helena hambone crater.. She had hair like ken dodd..A rather strange lady indeed. Think she was in some of the hairy pothead movies. Played herself.
True story