Sad time for me

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Comments

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,224
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Oh what a lovely tribute the crysanths will be :grin:

    I am still feeling so sad for you all (you most of course),and am proud of the way you are handling it. Able to accept compromises so that everyone's wishes are taken into account. Bless you Legs.

    Love and hugs

    Toni xx
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Linda
    I will be thinking about you, and especially on Weds, and please dont forget yourself in all this.
    You take care xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • magenta
    magenta Member Posts: 1,604
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hello Linda,

    The flowers will be lovely. I'm still thinking of you and your family.

    love Eileen xx
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Linda

    The flowers in the shape of a spade is a lovely idea.
    Just sending more Hugs (((((()))))))) and I will be thinking of you on wednesday

    Love Juliepf x
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    hi Legs,

    i love the idea of the chrysanthemums and your Dad would so have approved.

    Flower grief is like that, your okish and then this wave of sadness. it will get easier and legs i will be in your pocket and sending you ((((( ))))) and love. Cris xxx
  • shazi
    shazi Member Posts: 4
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    hi Linda Sending you hugs and prayers. Take care will be thinking of you and your family on Wednesday. ((((((((((hugs)))))))) shazi.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Grief does that, and for a while after the event and aftermath. I burst into tears in the bread aisle of Sainsbriz a couple of months after Daddy's cremation. I picked up some croissants, remembered how he always called them 'crossings' and that was it. Most people scuttled away (and truth be told I probably would have too) but a total stranger, young and a bloke, just put his arms around me and held me 'til I finished. He asked 'OK?' I nodded, started to say thank you but he walked off. I've never forgotten him - or seen him since.

    You will get through this, legs, you have strength. I am thinking of you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    little things will remind you and with time become less painfull to remember you will never forget and in time will smile at silly things but for now just accept there will be good days and less good but you are never alone we are here if you need us val
    val
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,399
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi all,

    A special hello and welcome to Shazi, as we've not spoken before. a010.gif

    Dreamdaisy, doesn't that show how kindness still exists in this world - it renews your faith in humankind hearing and experiencing things like that.

    I'm not sure my Dad would have approved of the flowers because he would have seen them as a waste of hard earned money :roll: but as he hated charities we decided to do this for us. :|

    We have another dilemma now in that my eldest son who lives in Oxford can't decide whether to come up for his Granddad's funeral. Traditionally, as a family, we always get together for a party here on bonfire night which, as you know is next Saturday. (Apologies to those who hate bonfire night :oops: ) He can't afford the petrol for both occasions.

    I'm inclined to say don't come to the funeral as it starts quite early and my Dad never showed interest in any of his grandchildren. But there will be lots of future bonfire nights and he can only pay his respects this once to his Granddad. I think he has to decide.
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    it has to be his decision just let him know you do not mind if he can not make it val
    val
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,399
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    valval wrote:
    it has to be his decision just let him know you do not mind if he can not make it val

    Thanks Val I'm going to ring him, when the footballs finished, to say just that to him.

    Luv
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    lindalegs wrote:
    valval wrote:
    it has to be his decision just let him know you do not mind if he can not make it val

    Thanks Val I'm going to ring him, when the footballs finished, to say just that to him.

    Luv

    he will not feel guilty then yes do not stop football you would be in so much trouble lol
    val
  • ritwren
    ritwren Member Posts: 928
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Still thinking of you and sending strong vibes. Did he come to a decision? I'm working but will try to get on again but I'll be thinking of you on wednesday and sending vibes and hugs. Rita.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    I hope the conversation with your son went well, Legs. I'm sure it was right to leave the decision up to him with no pressure.

    I've been thinking of you and will continue to do so. I hope Wednesday goes as well as these things can.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,399
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Our eldest son has decided not to come to the funeral.

    Believe it or not my Dad would've approved as he considered all funerals as ritualistic nonsense, we had a hard job to get him to come to Mum's ...............his own wife :shock: :shock: :shock:

    I feel I'm not painting a very good picture of him :oops: He was just eccentric and very principled in his views but it didn't stop us loving him all the same.

    Thank you again for your support.

    Love,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Legs, he was your dad, you love him and that is what matters. Are funerals about the deceased or about the living? I have always thought it was the latter, it's part of the process of saying good-bye to someone that you have known. I hope Wednesday is a gentle day. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    The little you have said about your dad reminds me of my own, Linda. My dad always had very strong views about things too. He was a Quaker so it was always known and accepted how the service would be conducted.

    You shall be in my thoughts on Wednesday, dear Linda.

    Love
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,399
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Thank you both.

    He may seem odd to others but he was just our Dad and we accepted how he was.

    Wednesday is indeed beckoning now as we're sorting out final arrangements like lifts for Aunties and sharing cars generally.

    Auntie Lucy (Dad's sister, whom he visited daily) is cared for in warden aided accommodation and lives only in the present and is very happy on 'Planet Lucy'. We told her yesterday that her only brother has died, she was momentarily quiet and then asked how Mary was (that's my Mum who died in 2008)! The warden has said Lucy has to decide whether she wants to go to the funeral and Lucy says no she doesn't want to go. It is sad she won't be there as they were devoted to each other and if Auntie was alright mentally she wouldn't have missed it. I have to resign myself to the fact that it might unsettle her and Dad wouldn't have been bothered anyway.

    It's all these details which worry me. :roll:
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Dear Linda, I have no words, but I am thinking of you alot.

    Love and more hugs (((((())))))))))

    Juliepf x
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Dear Linda

    You are going to be there on Wednesday for your dad. That is all that you should worry about, difficult though that is. You have made your choice as others have made theirs.

    Hugs
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Linda,

    I know it is easier said than done luvie but you need to concentrate on you. Wednesday you need to do what you need to do to say goodbye to your dad without worrying about everyone else..
    Thinking of you.. and take care luvie...(((((X)))))
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Linda, well it sounds like your dad didn't like a fuss so best have a quiet funeral as planned. It was good of your Son to consult you first as he clearly didn't want to upset you. and it is good of you to be practical and to consider his financial difficulties. And it would be an upheaval for his Sister - best to leave her with memories of the good times.

    Yes it is time to start looking after yourself now after such a dreadful past year.

    Best wishes
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    will be in your pocket wed so please be gentle would hate to squeal at wrong moment.
    your dad sound like a lovely, sensible man who remembered people as they were and did not need funerals to remember them try to remember wed is for you to say good bye do not get to involved with looking after every one else take time to remember have you got a book people can write down a memory in that way in few weeks you can read it and see your dad from a different perspective but he was your dad and no one can replace him ((())) val
    val
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Your Dad sounds to have been a real character, Linda, and one who clearly inspired much love. How other people ‘do’ funerals is irrelevant. I think you are being very wise in just going with the flow. I shall be thinking of you tomorrow.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • bertyboy
    bertyboy Member Posts: 1,860
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    HI Linda hope tomorrow goes as well as these things can , i am sure every body will remember your dad in there own way , as you will , dont be afraid of any emotion , wether its crying or laughing at a treasured memory of a much loved dad xx
    I know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx

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