NEW YEAR FORUM CRUISE.... IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

joanlawson

As this is probably the most depressing time of the year for many, I thought that a little escapism was in order, so as Cruise Director for JL Cruises Ltd, I'm pleased to inform you all that the forum cruise liner, the Skylark, is about to set sail once again on a New Year Forum Cruise.

For anyone on the forum who hasn't been on the Skylark before, here is some useful information:

1. The Skylark is the most luxurious cruise liner in the world, having the added magical ability to make all your wishes come true. You may specify exactly how you would like your cabin to be fitted out ( no expense spared ) so let your imagination run free! You may also specify anyone in the world who you would like as your cabin boy/girl or companion for the duration of the cruise ( except for Rehab, who is available on a strict rota basis )

2. Once on board, all arthritis completely disappears, so you will have a totally pain-free voyage. Leave all your aches and pains behind!

3. In the past, our captains have been Rehab and Tony, both of whom did a magnificent job, but as they might not want to take the wheel again, the post of captain is open to offers. If no-one volunteers, we can take it in turns, or just point the ship in the right direction.

4.The ship will take us anywhere in the world you wish to go, so you decide the itinerary.

5. It is entirely all-inclusive and FREE to all AC forum members.

PLEASE MAKE YOUR BOOKING NOW AND SPECIFY YOUR REQUIREMENTS.
( Remember- you can have anything you want! )

Joan, Cruise Director for JL. Cruises Ltd.

valval

can i have same room as last time next to trisher but please make sure she has not got her brolly still makes my eyes water thinking about it.
and can i have that lovely young man to run my bath please

joanlawson

You certainly can have the same cabin next to Trisher, Val. I hope she will read this thread, even if she doesn't post on it.

Which lovely young man was that, Val? All the staff on the Skylark are lovely, and trained to the highest standards ( bath-running is a speciality )

valval

when do we set sail and are the shops on board again or do i need to go retail shopping before coming on board

bubbles

I think I missed the last cruise, being queasy on a flat boating lake I was a little wary. Well, this time, I would love to come along, with my medicine trolley and I will volunteer as ships chief nursing officer. I would need my cabin to be next to the hospital ward, in case anyone has a funny turn. I would need large windows and a balcony, king size memory foam bed and walk in hydrotherapy massage shower in my palatial en suite. A well stocked mini bar, full of maltesers.
I will have to pick a Dr. Will have a think.

joanlawson

valval wrote:

when do we set sail and are the shops on board again or do i need to go retail shopping before coming on board

We'll set sail once we've got more bookings made, Val. Wait until you come on board for the retail therapy because remember, everything is FREE :!:

jean123

Is there free pink knitting wool? x;)

Jean

joanlawson

delboy wrote:

The pirate captain will not be around as he has manflu, the lurgy and body ache.

Ah, sorry to hear that Pirate Captain Del has manflu. But is this just trick to lull us into a false sense of security :?: A cruise without a raid by Del and the pirates at some point wouldn't seem complete. I hope that you will feel better soon, Del, and we'll be watching out for you

joanlawson

bubbles wrote:

I think I missed the last cruise, being queasy on a flat boating lake I was a little wary. Well, this time, I would love to come along, with my medicine trolley and I will volunteer as ships chief nursing officer. I would need my cabin to be next to the hospital ward, in case anyone has a funny turn. I would need large windows and a balcony, king size memory foam bed and walk in hydrotherapy massage shower in my palatial en suite. A well stocked mini bar, full of maltesers.
I will have to pick a Dr. Will have a think.

Brilliant, Bubbles We definitely need you on board in case of any emergencies. Choose a nice doctor for us, won't you :?: I like the idea of the walk in hydrotherapy massage shower, and I've stocked up your mini bar as requested.

joanlawson

jean123 wrote:

Is there free pink knitting wool? x;)

Jean

But of course, Jean. There's a box of it waiting in your cabin, so you can get knitting straight away. I know your fondness for pink woolly knickers.

bubbles

wooly knickers, ohhhhhh, itching as we speak. Thanks for the maltesers. I am on with sorting out the Dr.

joanlawson

Anyone else joining us on this epic ( and FREE) cruise :?: I hope so

prefabkid47

My requirements are simple,can I have the cabin nearest the bar (if DD hasn't already booked it.......I don't mind sharing).I don't mind doing bar duty if needed,although it would be shut to all except followers of real ale and wimmen of great beauty (which is probably all AC members)......
Will there be other men on board there seem to be all wimmen and would feel very vulnerable to their advances and demands...... :oops:
(ps Jean how did you know I have a fetish for pink knitted knickers..... :!: :?: )

bubbadog

Hi Cruise Director, I would like a double cabin with balcony, and my companion will be Matt Cardle!!
Our cabin boy will be Jack Whiteall (Think thats how you spell it)
We would like to eat in an speciality restaurants every night a different one every night!
That's everything I can think of for now, may add other requests later! Thank you,

valval

well it looks like it is filling up nicely joan can not wait the cold and damp not nice at all at moment will catch up with trisher to tell her she on the cruise.
del had better throw man flu off we would miss him so much


wonder if we can get mel along we still need a captain ????? not sure fat kev up to it any more????

joanlawson

prefabkid47 wrote:

My requirements are simple,can I have the cabin nearest the bar (if DD hasn't already booked it.......I don't mind sharing).I don't mind doing bar duty if needed,although it would be shut to all except followers of real ale and wimmen of great beauty (which is probably all AC members)......
Will there be other men on board there seem to be all wimmen and would feel very vulnerable to their advances and demands...... :oops:
(ps Jean how did you know I have a fetish for pink knitted knickers..... :!: :?: )

Hi Prefab, and welcome on board

I have booked the cabin next to the bar for you (it even has an adjoining door in case you need an emergency supply of real ale in the middle of the night)
Thank you for your offer to do bar duty, and of course the bar will be open at all times as the great beauty of all the AC ladies is world-acclaimed.
I hope more men will join us too, although I'm sure you would cope well with all the attentions of the ladies if necessary However, I must warn you that I believe Jean is knitting pink knickers for us all.

joanlawson

bubbadog wrote:

Hi Cruise Director, I would like a double cabin with balcony, and my companion will be Matt Cardle!!
Our cabin boy will be Jack Whiteall (Think thats how you spell it)
We would like to eat in an speciality restaurants every night a different one every night!
That's everything I can think of for now, may add other requests later! Thank you,

Welcome on board, Bubba. I'm arranging for Matt Cardle and Jack Whiteall? to be flown in on the ship's helicopter especially for you.



They're very excited and honoured that you have chosen them and are winging their way to you immediately.

joanlawson

valval wrote:

well it looks like it is filling up nicely joan can not wait the cold and damp not nice at all at moment will catch up with trisher to tell her she on the cruise.
del had better throw man flu off we would miss him so much


wonder if we can get mel along we still need a captain ????? not sure fat kev up to it any more????

I think we'll head for somewhere warm and sunny as soon as everyone's on board, Val. I hope that Trisher will join us too.
I hope that Del will feel better soon, even though he's a pirate

Mell would be a great captain, so we'll have to see. Fat Kev would probably lose us in the Bermuda Triangle, so best not to ask him :roll:

roses1

Is there room for a liitle one?

I would like a large cabin with balcony (love the sea view).... champagne and strawberries served on a silver platter by a topless hunk who will then massage all my aching bits please.



Oooo do we get attacked by pirates?

bubbles

roses1 wrote:

Is there room for a liitle one?

I would like a large cabin with balcony (love the sea view).... champagne and strawberries served on a silver platter by a topless hunk who will then massage all my aching bits please.



Oooo do we get attacked by pirates?

I think the cabin next to mine is free, I have booked a large balcony, we could natter over the balcony and if I need someone to pass me the smelling salts, should anyone have the vapours on board, I would be very grateful.
This parade of pink knickers is worrying, I am not good with wool. :shock:

I have asked George Clooney to be the ships Dr, he said he enjoyed ER and it would be a pleasure to join us on the cruise. 8) I am sure there will be no complaints and the waiting room will be full every morning. Strictly by appointment though.

joanlawson

Hi Roses, and welcome aboard :!: All the cabins on the Skylark have sea views (nothing but the best on this ship!)
Your champagne and strawberries will be waiting for you,



....... as will the topless hunk you ordered. You will see from this photo of him that he will do all your ironing too, so could be quite useful. You won't have any aches and pains anyway because Arthur is banned from the cruise.



Click on the picture if you want a closer view

joanlawson

Oooh, Well Done Bubbles for booking George Clooney to be the ship's doctor
Here he is with his stethoscope at the ready.



Form an orderly queue, ladies

bubbles

It wasn't easy and I had to pull some strings, being in the profession, albeit many years ago. Let's leave it at that :shock: :oops: :oops: :oops:

joanlawson wrote:

Oooh, Well Done Bubbles for booking George Clooney to be the ship's doctor
Here he is with his stethoscope at the ready.



Form an orderly queue, ladies

valval

this cruise looks like it is going to be a great trip will be glad to get away these storms causing the odd ache and pain lol

bubbadog

Ok I have another request for my cabin! I would like pastries for breakfast in my cabin with fresh smoothies. And I hope there is good entertainment at night!!

mellman01

bubbadog wrote:

Ok I have another request for my cabin! I would like pastries for breakfast in my cabin with fresh smoothies. And I hope there is good entertainment at night!!

No problem as your captain I can arrange all that for you just tell the steward and it will be sorted, now then any destination in particular?, I was thinking the Maldives, there’s some lovely diving to be had there and also loads of peace and quiet if you just want to rest under shade of a palm tree, and now you can also drink there as the Government have repealed the strict drinking laws. Any one up for it??.