NEW YEAR FORUM CRUISE.... IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

valval

that was great trisher loved them but it time we got her out of the pub and back on ship

valval

can some one put iced buns with cherries on in trishers cabin

mellman01

Da good a da news is I is back on board peeps innit!, now da bad ada news is we av it a big ada rock that woz not on da de map and de boat it is avin a big ole in it's bum and she is a sinking a bit!, well it she is a sinking alot, but it isa OK coz I am going to fall into da life a boat right now and check it is a safe to use for all 4 thousand of a u peeps, and also I amma gonna save my a sorry wop a**e innit but dat is de perk of de job!. so while da a boat ita sinkin and I paddle a off into da sun a set u all gotta sing a song to make u all a appy!, so come onna all of u and a sing it wid a me!, oh what's a matta u?, what a nica place oh shutupa your face!. chow suckers!!.

joanlawson

mellman01 wrote:

Da good a da news is I is back on board peeps innit!, now da bad ada news is we av it a big ada rock that woz not on da de map and de boat it is avin a big ole in it's bum and she is a sinking a bit!, well it she is a sinking alot, but it isa OK coz I am going to fall into da life a boat right now and check it is a safe to use for all 4 thousand of a u peeps, and also I amma gonna save my a sorry wop a**e innit but dat is de perk of de job!. so while da a boat ita sinkin and I paddle a off into da sun a set u all gotta sing a song to make u all a appy!, so come onna all of u and a sing it wid a me!, oh what's a matta u?, what a nica place oh shutupa your face!. chow suckers!!.

So THAT'S where you've been, Captain Mell :shock: :shock:

I have to tell you that you've been on the wrong ship thankfully.
The Skylark is still afloat with no rocks anywhere near.

I expect that you had one drink too many one night and climbed aboard the first ship you saw in the harbour :roll: Now it looks as though you might end up behind bars :shock:

valval

wish len was here to take over good job mel got on wrong ship mind you we would have stuffed the hole with arther and carried on regardless nothing from pirates to brollies can stop this cruise





looks like mel escaped and is on his way

theresa4

Well there I was in Mauritius on the beach after making my humungus sancastle with my two doc hunks I look up and youve set sail without us. Stranded all alone with my mcdreamy and mcsteamy it's taken ages for their private jet to come pick us up to catch up with the skylark and now I hear I've missed Australia what kind of cruise are you running here abandon passengers and an absent captain not to mention one of ill repute. It's terrible I feel so unwanted I'm going to my cabin to be looked after by my roomies.

Colin1

It is with deep regret that I have to inform you that I have jumped ship here in Australia.
As I write this message the battery in my laptop is about to run out .
I am now deep in the bush having discarded all my clothes and other worldly goods,
dressed only in my loin cloth and broad smile, I have joined a group of aborigines and we are camped by
a billlabong , as I write I am shaded by the bcoolibah tree waiting for my billy to boil. I have made some buttys and and a pan of scouse for you.
Good bye
Colin

prefabkid47

Colin1 wrote:

It is with deep regret that I have to inform you that I have jumped ship here in Australia.
As I write this message the battery in my laptop is about to run out .
I am now deep in the bush having discarded all my clothes and other worldly goods,
dressed only in my loin cloth and broad smile, I have joined a group of aborigines and we are camped by
a billlabong , as I write I am shaded by the bcoolibah tree waiting for my billy to boil. I have made some buttys and and a pan of scouse for you.
Good bye
Colin

Colin,why did you jump ship?
Were you feeling a bit DOWN or UNDER?
Ron

Colin1

More like up and over the side Ron
Av you seen these aussie aborginy women mate
Colin

joanlawson

Theresa, we did send out a search party for you in Mauritius, but you couldn't be found anywhere. Someone said you were last seen disappearing into the sunset with Mcdreamy and Mcsteamy so you didn't see the ship sailing away.

Colin, you can't leave us like this :shock:

A few butties and a pan of scouse won't last very long, and we'll never be able to find another chef as good as you.

Anyway, I think you'll soon get fed up with living with the aborigines.

I reckon it was just an excuse to run around in your loin cloth really :roll:

prefabkid47

Colin1 wrote:

More like up and over the side Ron
Av you seen these aussie aborginy women mate
Colin

Yup,they all look like Evonne Goolagong.It's not that it's what food they'll dig up (literally) that worries me................ :shock:
Gone would be the days of such lovely delicacies as chips,black pudding angel delight etc.,but what really terrifies me is my beer being served at the wrong temperature............ :x :!:
Ron

bubbadog

Sorry I haven't been about Captain got locked in the cabin all weekend and yesterday, But I was lucky having Jason Statham with me and after enjoying his view all weekend he has kicked the door in! So we're off to eat as much as we can and have a few drinks to steady the nerves!

prefabkid47

May I remind passengers (and crew) that tonight is Burns Night and although most of us are Sassenachs we feel it does provide an excuse for a good old 'knees up' (I feel my East Ender blood coursing through my veins!) and also there being no TKRs (abolished)......

I have a supply of lemonade for the ladies (and Burns Ale for Joan) and of course whisky for the gentlemen - having procured a limited amount of 32 year old Bruichladdich,a snip at £150/bottle having told the girl at the checkout it was old stock and probably passed it's 'best before date'.Supply was limited to the amount I could carry,forgot that when I got off the ship good old arther was waiting.............

Now that Colin has jumped ship and swapped his chef's hat for a loin cloth we have no one to cook the haggis (caught and shot just yesterday in the outback - I know not a very (ab)original joke).. :roll:
Are there any volunteers to carry out cook's duties,what about you bubbadog (aka Randy Mandy),you seem to have plenty of energy?

Lastly,can anyone play the bagpipes?If not we will have to take turns to stand on the ship's cat's tail!.Later in the evening there will be a Jimmy Shand tribute band hosted by an Andy Stewart look-alike.......

The venue will be clearly signposted - just follow the signs 'White Heather Club Downunder'.

See you there (from the other side of the bar).

Ron

valval

so glad i packed my kilt will be able to wear it now right do i put under wear on with it???????????????? val

joanlawson

valval wrote:

so glad i packed my kilt will be able to wear it now right do i put under wear on with it???????????????? val

You most definitely do, Val :!:

Wear a pair of the pink knickers which Jean has knitted specially for all the ladies
............very glam with the tartan ( although a tad itchy when dancing a Highland Fling )

joanlawson

prefabkid47 wrote:

May I remind passengers (and crew) that tonight is Burns Night and although most of us are Sassenachs we feel it does provide an excuse for a good old 'knees up' (I feel my East Ender blood coursing through my veins!) and also there being no TKRs (abolished)......

I have a supply of lemonade for the ladies (and Burns Ale for Joan) and of course whisky for the gentlemen - having procured a limited amount of 32 year old Bruichladdich,a snip at £150/bottle having told the girl at the checkout it was old stock and probably passed it's 'best before date'.Supply was limited to the amount I could carry,forgot that when I got off the ship good old arther was waiting.............

Now that Colin has jumped ship and swapped his chef's hat for a loin cloth we have no one to cook the haggis (caught and shot just yesterday in the outback - I know not a very (ab)original joke).. :roll:
Are there any volunteers to carry out cook's duties,what about you bubbadog (aka Randy Mandy),you seem to have plenty of energy?

Lastly,can anyone play the bagpipes?If not we will have to take turns to stand on the ship's cat's tail!.Later in the evening there will be a Jimmy Shand tribute band hosted by an Andy Stewart look-alike.......

The venue will be clearly signposted - just follow the signs 'White Heather Club Downunder'.

See you there (from the other side of the bar).

Ron

You are doing a great job as barman, Ron, so thanks very much for organising all the drinks so efficiently ( the Burns Ale was fantastic )

I hope that I didn't deafen everyone with my playing of the bagpipes, but I thought I'd better give it a try as I didn't want the ship's cat to suffer otherwise.



Phew :!: I'm exhausted now with all that puffing of the pipes, plus dancing the Highland Fling too.........


........ the Scottish version of Riverdance, as performed by all the crew

Off to my cabin to get my breath back now

valval

put my flanelet bloomers on in end under it just as well as sea breeze caught me while doing hi land fling :oops:

bubbadog

Of course I'm happy to stand in as chef as you may not I was quite handy in the kitchen before Arther took control, I used to be a kitchen assistant when I 1st left school!! And I can cook a mean spag boll, chilli con carne and mince and potato curry!! Now I don't so much as cook but shout at the OH where he's going wrong cooking it! But for the duration of this cruise I'm happy to stand in as chef and do you proud!!

prefabkid47

Thanks bubbadog for agreeing to be the ship's chef.The job is not too onerous,the ready meals are in the freezer and we just got an additional microwave.............

If you need assistance just shout,but don't think there will be many orders,it's a bit like the Mary Celeste on board at the moment.....

ps look forward to the potato curry............

bubbadog

It does seem to be like a ghost ship at the moment!! Are you sure everyone was checked back in at the last port? We could turn back and just make sure there isn't a large crowd of extremely upset cruise folk!! It could be a very weird remake of home alone!!
Or we could just carry on prefabkid and have a fun booze cruise by ourselfs!!

flossy47

Sorry I think I've been asleep since we reached Australia. Can't believe I missed Burns night. Where are we going now?

valval

sorry we been chilling recovering from Australia will be back to normal soon val

bubbadog

That's alright everyone, isn't that the whole point of a cruise holiday to relax! Just to let everyone know because it's Saturday the menu will be to suit!! So get your disco gear on and menu will include pizza, curry, hamburgers and kebabs!! And the drinks menu will include larger, cider,alcohpops and lambrini for the ladies!! And the captain will let us know what the entertainment will be for the evening!!

roses1

it had best be good entertainment ! after all i have left my hunk ! thought he could do with a break

Airwave!

Can't we just stay in Oz for a while and enjoy the sun? Disco gear? Oh pleaase don,t make me dance, it's not a pretty sight!

Stick another shrimp on the barbie while I visit the dunny, its all those ice tubes-see I can speak Ozzie!